Ode to Husband Monster
So I have to write a post praising my husband and how incredible he's been to me the past few days, not that he's not incredible all the time, but the last few days, I have been particularly grateful for his character and kindness.
I woke up feeling sickly last Friday, the 4th. I did the normal things I needed to do around the house and at work and took some otc cold medicine to push through, but by the end of Friday, I could feel my body telling me that it was 'toooo' much, so I didn't stay for the H.S. movie night and left Jesse to find his own ride home because he didn't want his sick wife to ride the train.
Then on Saturday, he got up and went to ping pong, and I tidied the house through coughs and made some treats for some of the guys coming over later that day. Not much though, and then Jesse went solo to Kenny's bday party while I blew my nose 54986023 times on the couch and listened to what sounded like a drum beating inside my forehead.
By Sunday, I thought I might be getting better. I made it through church, and dinner was enjoyable and yummy. My worse symptom was just the stuffy head and headache...light?? at the end of the tunnel perhaps?
No....Monday....arrived. When I got up Monday morning, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. My throat was swollen and red and hurting. I couldn't breathe through my nose. When I stood, I was dizzy and felt like my head was going to fall over b/c it weighed more than my body. The CC was torture, not because of the kids, but because doing anything other than laying down was torturous to me. So I was thankful that elections day was the next day and it was a holiday I could choose to take since we'd planned on not taking a holiday on Veteran's Day, this Friday.
So the past 2 days, I have been on the couch, only getting up to do minor things and try to respond to important emails about church stuff. Yesterday we had to go to the dentist, and that was more torturous than usual. Opening my mouth really wide to get poked and prodded when my throat hurts=disastrous.
This morning, I was not any better and so sleepy b/c I'm not sleeping much at night since it's hard to breath. And by this point, any enjoyment I had about being sick and getting an excuse to be lazy has long passed. I'm so behind on misc. life tasks now and and afraid I'm about to get behind on CC stuff, especially because of the conference at Brooklyn Tabernacle I'm supposed to attend next week.
Jesse has been working his hiney off on speaking engagements and GFC sunday school and High School ministry. We had laundry piled up in the laundry closet, and needed our sheets washed, and Jesse said he'd do it at his parents house after he finished training today. So he's gonna write his sermon and do laundry.
But the whole reason I write all this is because I'm just so thankful for Jesse. He's so nice and caring and compassionate! He doesn't expect me to do just 'deal with it' and do everything I'm supposed to even though I'm sick. He is working practically all hours of the day working on GFC things or sermons for other speaking engagements. He's always at his computer with his bible and commentaries and books, reading, and studying, and using bibleworks ALL the time. I feel so guilty. He's like a machine, and a nice machine.When I'm busy, I get snippy and stressed and say mean things. He doesn't.
And he still finds time to VOLUNTEER to help with dishes and cooking. Yeah...I haven't cooked in FOREVER, and he doesn't care. He says it's fine. I'm just amazed because I feel SO GUILTY for being sick and being so lazy. But he makes me green tea. Last night he made me dinner. He does the laundry, helps with the pets...so many things. I really don't understand why he married me. It's like he married a woman and moved in and now has all these responsibilities and chores, and he works, and I'm sitting on my butt coughing and sneezing and spitting up gunk. Sigh. And it's not just me being physically sick right now. Even when I'm not physically sick, sometimes my emotional and mental issues are so ridiculous that I just can't handle what I think the 'normal' or 'average' woman can, and Jesse has to put up with that.
I really feel like I'm so much to handle. He has to put up with so much because of me. I can't see any of the benefits of him having me as his wife. I'm not sure how exactly I bring him any joy. The poor guy. He deserves more. I definitely have a husband whose character is incredible, and he demonstrates the love of Christ to me, but since I love him, I just hate that I can't give him more and be more of a joy to HIS life. Distributive Justice tells me that Jesse deserves more. I am so thankful for him.
That's all for now.
I woke up feeling sickly last Friday, the 4th. I did the normal things I needed to do around the house and at work and took some otc cold medicine to push through, but by the end of Friday, I could feel my body telling me that it was 'toooo' much, so I didn't stay for the H.S. movie night and left Jesse to find his own ride home because he didn't want his sick wife to ride the train.
Then on Saturday, he got up and went to ping pong, and I tidied the house through coughs and made some treats for some of the guys coming over later that day. Not much though, and then Jesse went solo to Kenny's bday party while I blew my nose 54986023 times on the couch and listened to what sounded like a drum beating inside my forehead.
By Sunday, I thought I might be getting better. I made it through church, and dinner was enjoyable and yummy. My worse symptom was just the stuffy head and headache...light?? at the end of the tunnel perhaps?
No....Monday....arrived. When I got up Monday morning, I felt like I'd been hit by a truck. My throat was swollen and red and hurting. I couldn't breathe through my nose. When I stood, I was dizzy and felt like my head was going to fall over b/c it weighed more than my body. The CC was torture, not because of the kids, but because doing anything other than laying down was torturous to me. So I was thankful that elections day was the next day and it was a holiday I could choose to take since we'd planned on not taking a holiday on Veteran's Day, this Friday.
So the past 2 days, I have been on the couch, only getting up to do minor things and try to respond to important emails about church stuff. Yesterday we had to go to the dentist, and that was more torturous than usual. Opening my mouth really wide to get poked and prodded when my throat hurts=disastrous.
This morning, I was not any better and so sleepy b/c I'm not sleeping much at night since it's hard to breath. And by this point, any enjoyment I had about being sick and getting an excuse to be lazy has long passed. I'm so behind on misc. life tasks now and and afraid I'm about to get behind on CC stuff, especially because of the conference at Brooklyn Tabernacle I'm supposed to attend next week.
Jesse has been working his hiney off on speaking engagements and GFC sunday school and High School ministry. We had laundry piled up in the laundry closet, and needed our sheets washed, and Jesse said he'd do it at his parents house after he finished training today. So he's gonna write his sermon and do laundry.
But the whole reason I write all this is because I'm just so thankful for Jesse. He's so nice and caring and compassionate! He doesn't expect me to do just 'deal with it' and do everything I'm supposed to even though I'm sick. He is working practically all hours of the day working on GFC things or sermons for other speaking engagements. He's always at his computer with his bible and commentaries and books, reading, and studying, and using bibleworks ALL the time. I feel so guilty. He's like a machine, and a nice machine.When I'm busy, I get snippy and stressed and say mean things. He doesn't.
And he still finds time to VOLUNTEER to help with dishes and cooking. Yeah...I haven't cooked in FOREVER, and he doesn't care. He says it's fine. I'm just amazed because I feel SO GUILTY for being sick and being so lazy. But he makes me green tea. Last night he made me dinner. He does the laundry, helps with the pets...so many things. I really don't understand why he married me. It's like he married a woman and moved in and now has all these responsibilities and chores, and he works, and I'm sitting on my butt coughing and sneezing and spitting up gunk. Sigh. And it's not just me being physically sick right now. Even when I'm not physically sick, sometimes my emotional and mental issues are so ridiculous that I just can't handle what I think the 'normal' or 'average' woman can, and Jesse has to put up with that.
I really feel like I'm so much to handle. He has to put up with so much because of me. I can't see any of the benefits of him having me as his wife. I'm not sure how exactly I bring him any joy. The poor guy. He deserves more. I definitely have a husband whose character is incredible, and he demonstrates the love of Christ to me, but since I love him, I just hate that I can't give him more and be more of a joy to HIS life. Distributive Justice tells me that Jesse deserves more. I am so thankful for him.
That's all for now.
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