Genesis 22
In posting this, I am not agreeing that I am responsible for the Holy Spirit coming to me, but I am acknowledging that through the discipline of training my spirit to be still before the Lord, read His word, and accept His word, I see His character. His character does not change, and He is not in the business of hiding it from those who sincerely desire to see it. I am, however, in the business of believing falsities about God that inhibit my heart and soul and mind from comprehending His truth.
We read Genesis 22, the story of Abraham and Isaac, and often desire to glean from it that God asks us to be willing to surrender but will not require us to actually surrender. So often, people will gloss over the chapter as one that says 'just be willing, but don't worry; God would never actually require it.' That causes problems, however, as it caused for me this morning when I read over it. We see that God asked Abraham to kill his son, and we see that Abraham was willing, but then we see that God did not require Abraham to kill his son. I read this and said to the Lord, 'but you always ask me to kill the things- to give them up. I don't have to be 'just willing;' you actually make me do it!' When I think along these lines, the character of God that I see is one that is loving...but not loving toward me.
Thankfully, the Holy Spirit quickly turned my mind to the truth this morning:
Francis Chan reminded me a few days ago that sometimes we ought to go first with the literal reading of Scripture rather than look for allegory or metaphor. At times, the Scripture should be taken just as literally as it is. I usually look for all the symbolism and metaphor and representation in Genesis 22, but the Holy Spirit reminded me this morning to look at the LITERAL story. God asked Abraham to KILL HIS SON, and then although he was willing, He did not make him. I cannot say that God always makes me because God has never made me KILL MY CHILD, and I am confident God will never ask me to murder my child. God asks me to do hard things sometimes and to give things up, but not to literally kill them! God may ask me to live here, away from my family and without the ability to be a part of their every day lives and experience- and that may grieve me to the core of my being in ways unexpressable...but God does not ask me to kill them. God asked Abraham to do hard things too, and when Abraham was willing, He followed and did them. God did not spare Abraham of every hard thing. The one thing he did spare him of was the task of killing his son because God was showing us that HE, HIMSELF, WOULD KILL HIS SON INSTEAD. God killed His son; He provided a lamb, which brought us the one thing we needed MOST in the world but could not accomplish on our own, specifically, reconciliation with God's self.
God can ask me to follow even if the way is hard because He has already done the HARDEST thing for me, but I don't always realize this or recognize this. I don't always recognize how HARD the justification is that God has accomplished for me. I don't see the depth of it. Satan is at work constantly to keep me confused about the true nature of God. If I see the hardest thing that He has completed, I know that God is loving and loving toward ME. If I forget of this thing, His nature is only crude for asking me to follow through hard circumstance.
So then the name of the place where God provides a lamb for Abraham and spares the life of Isaac is called "Jehovah-Jireh." This is where Jirem's name came from. I originally named him this after a time in my life where I felt like God had really provided and come through for me. I say that Jirem is to remind me of that. But here, 4 years later, and stuck in a hard spot again, I forget that and find myself saying things like I said this morning: "God, you always ask me to kill things and give them up. You never let me keep it or do what I want to do." And that is the truth much of the time, but I look at the term Jehovah-Jireh in a new way. It must remind me of the hardest thing, justification, which God did for me and of the fact that He will never ask me to save myself. I am just like Abraham, asked to follow even in hard times, but not asked to do the thing that is impossible, not asked to provide my own sacrifice for my salvation.
It's not easy to keep this mind-set, especially in the face of pain and having to give up that which I desire or is so important to me. But the 'things' of this life are not what I am to focus upon. I am to focus upon God and His character and look forward to life everlasting with Him.
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