Creates

We all create. We are made in the image of the Creator. We can't not create. It's impossible. To God be the glory, great things He has done, and praise Him for the expression of His love and grace through all these things He uses His creations to create...

SOUndTrackofMyLife: Lead Song- Breathe Again by Joy Olekundo

Full Soundtrack found here:

TheUPsideDOWNPRoject! MeginLeaLives!

Video1 Intro

Video2 Personal Story

Video3 Rest of the Piece

Eden's Cake Topper: Why not? I’ve got nothing better to do at 1AM when tomorrow involves a baby, homeschool, getting a stove delivered and installed, and a cutting my child’s ridiculously long hair without the support of clippers WHILE MY HUSBAND WORKS and my family lives miles and lightyears away. (Husband said he can try to be flexible with his hours….whatever that means). What did the etsy-lady do to me? Well thank you. Thank you all for caring so much. Truly. It makes dealing with the fact that I am out the price of a dang good pepperoni pizza a little bit more bearable.

No. I did not order a pizza. They don’t really sell that on etsy. What I did order, of course, was a bedazzled, sparkly kitty cat cake topper that I could use on a store bought cake of some sort for Eden for her birthday since I didn’t think we were going to have an oven in time to bake her a cake for her birthday! (Thank you Jesus the oven is coming tomorrow….Lord willing….so long as nothing else goes wrong….which, at this point, I don’t really hold out much hope for because, you know, 2020 is all about God forcing us to face up with and break up with our idols. Ugh. So annoying. Life. ANYWAY-

So I I found this great little cat topper, (yes, go ahead. Laugh. Of course. This is a story about cat ears). that looks something like this-

THIS is my version, that I made myself, after I tried to cancel my order from the stinking Etsy “beautiful person,” but before I found out that she wouldn’t even LET me cancel my order. FOR THE FREAKING LOVE. Let me back up. Hang on....

So I find the cake topper, and I like it, but I realize that I need to order it like ASAP to get it by Eden’s bday on the 19^th. So it looks like I’m going to have to pay extra for shipping then…..what should I do???? Oh and there are so many other cute things in the store, and maybe I might want them if I DOOOO get to have her a party some time in October, so maybe I will purchase them, and then it would make more sense to pay for the shipping….. hmmmm okay well for now, I will just place the order for the cake topper and pay for priority shipping (although this is definitely not going to be something Jesse approves of…I just won’t mention it), and then decide about adding things to the order after the fact. But I need to go ahead and purchase this now b/c I need to make sure I at LEAST get IT. So I message the woman, and I explain that I am considering ordering this cake topper, as well as a banner and perhaps cupcake toppers. (I know. I know. Don’t judge me. I was having a moment. It’s covid. That’s my excuse). I tell her that I’m going to go ahead and order the cake topper now but have some questions about other items I may add later. My questions pertain to whether the other items can be customized? I explain to her my color scheme and ask if it is possible to order the cupcake toppers in the two colors that match the scheme since she takes CUSTOM orders. Then the cake topper could even match it. I also ask her about suggestions for a color for the banner because I like glitter, but the only glitter color she appears to have is black, and we are using navy as our color. Anyway, she replies and tells me that in order to get two different colors for cupcake toppers I would have to order TWO SEPARATE ORDERS OF 12 each. I say I don’t need 24. I just need 12. Can’t I get 6 pink, and 6 navy since she’s making them custom? She says “no. I make a set in one color. You have to buy another set if you want another color.”

THAT should have been my warning red flag. THAT and the fact that I asked her what other glitter colors she could do and she said “Our glitter colors are on the site in other listings.” …… Okay. So just look around your site and inquire about a million different colors on different items I DON’T want? Can’t you just write the names of the glitter colors in this message to me woman?? Annoying. SO I decide whatever- I’m not buying all that crap anyway. I don’t need it. I just want the cake topper. Literally just the cat ears and whiskers/nose, and tail. BUT I don’t go back and say “do not make it custom colors.” THAT was my mistake. I thought she understood. I realize now she didn’t. But that’s giving away an important miscommunication a little early in the story.

So I go about my day. The order is in, for the cake topper, and it’s priority shipping. Dangit Jesse will be pissed I got priority shipping on one item that costs less than the priority shipping itself. A day passes. Then I think, Hmmm…I want to check and just make sure it will be here by the 18^th. I told her I needed it by then, and I asked her if she could get it to me by then, but she never answered my question. I told her I purchased priority shipping because I needed it by the 18^th, but she never said anything back to me about that. So I inquire and ask to clarify if the item will arrive by the 18^th….

She responds that my item is set for priority shipping but that processing takes up to 5 days and that if I want my order processed faster, I need to purchase a rush order, for 10 more dollars. WHAT THE FREAKING HECK???? (I’m forcing myself not to curse right now). Like for serious lady????? Why didn’t you mention this when I ASKED YOU if it would arrive by the 18^th???

I then respond kindly and tell her that I would like to cancel my order then, since processing is 5 days, and it doesn’t seem like I will get my order in time.

She then tells me that I need to read her shop’s FINE PRINT. She takes NO RETURNS OR CANCELLATIONS. ONLY EXCHANGES.

I’m like……..freaking what? Are you serious? She says “Plus, YOUR ORDER is already MADE. It can’t be cancelled.” So I’m like, but you just told me it was going to take 5 days to process….. (and in the mean time, I’d actually just got off my butt and made the stupid thing myself and really didn’t need her to send me her cricut version made with no love and oozing with me being ripped off). She says processing is 2 to 5 days and varies. **Per-shop-policies** OMGEEEEEEE with the “shop policies.” So I tell her FINE, could I please then just EXCHANGE and order something else since the topper still may not arrive by her birthday (and I don’t need it). I’ll order something else from her. She has a nice store. But I would like to request regular shipping instead of priority.

SHE SAYS SHE CAN’T CHANGE MY ORDER BECAUSE MY ORDER WAS CUSTOM. SO SHE CAN’T GIVE ME AN EXCHANGE.

I say I didn’t ask for custom!!!!!

SHE SCREENSHOTS ME THE CONVO WHERE WE TALK ABOUT MULTIPLE DECORATIONS AND TELLS ME I DID ASK FOR CUSTOM!!!!!

….THIS IS WHEN I REALIZE THAT THERE WAS A MISCOMMUNICATION! I GUESS ‘technically’ my fault, I suppose, but not even…. I mean, she’s obviously deceptive and rude and money-grubbing!!!! I thought she understood I just wanted the regular cake topper since I wasn’t CUSTOMIZING an entire order….. Ugh. I tell her that I am a faithful etsy shopper and have honestly not experienced before someone who was unable to work with me or meet me in the middle at ANY STEP of a transaction…. Like seriously? I say it more nicely than that. She tells me to look at her five star reviews that say she has great customer service.

This is where we basically start arguing back and forth about who is right and who is wrong, and where she quotes store policies fifteen eleven times and where Jesse starts looking over my shoulder and eventually sitting in my chair and reading/dissecting the whole conversation to help me even realize where the miscommunications were….. And then informs me that I shouldn’t be surprised that she’s as feisty as me because she’s from Atlanta, Georgia, while I’m from August, Ga. So we’re just two Georgia peaches fighting it out. (You have to read that as Jesse doing his impersonation of a Southern female Megin accent while shaking his head side to side and waving his arm and flaunting around. And you have to also see the rage building behind my eyes and mouth, as my nostrils flair, as I threaten to throw at him whatever object I can pick up, within range, be it scissors, a hairdryer, mascara, a BUTCHER KNIFE!!!)

Ugh. EVERY SINGLE TIME the freaking lady responds to me she quotes store policy from her fine print that goes on for years and then tells me that our next communication will be in 48 to 72 hours when she has a tracking number for my order….. I WANT TO FREAKING THROW THE DAMN COMPUTER AT HER. My final response to her told her no need to respond, that I was aware that her next communication would be in 48 to 72 hours when she had a tracking number for my order that I did not want and would not use, that she had said as much many times already, and I was aware. I swear this literally could have been as good as a Megin and Buffie fight back in the day. She had me livid. Her name starts with a T. She lives in Atlanta, and has a business selling party decoration. That’s all I’ll say. OH, and apparently now I have to pray for her on a regular basis because I’ve got a crap-ton of unforgiveness toward this lady in my heart. I say lady, but she appears to be a young woman….in her 20s….to which I want to pull rank on her and school her in the ways of the world and how crappy her customer service ACTUALLY is….that customer service is not just REPLYING IN A TIMELY MANNER….it’s WORKING WITH CUSTOMERS….WITH PEOPLE!!! HAVING A HEART! A SOUL! ESPECIALLY DURING THE YEAR OF 2020 WHEN HALF THE WORLD IS DYING AND OUT OF WORK. Holy freaking crap, for the love! Can’t we just work together and be kind???? Why does she have to be all bratty about my dang cat ears.

AND FREAKING HECK WHEN AM I GOING TO GROW OUT OF THE STAGE OF LIFE WHERE I SPEND MONEY ON CAT EARS? LIKE SERIOUSLY? THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON SINCE I WAS 3 YEARS OLD. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY CAT EARS I’VE OWNED IN MY LIFE??? OR CAT HATS? SOMEONE PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR MISERY. SHEEESH. I need to go to bed now. And I need to grow up. And I want my $23 back to buy a pizza with…. And now I will have two cat cake toppers….

Unless someone wants to buy one off of me? I’ll cut you a deal on the shipping.

Peace out Tiffany. Crap. I said her name. #Sorrynotsorry. #Meangirls.   

Eli's Desk: I really wanted to buy Eli a desk for homeschool. My heart was set on one of those old vintage school desk, the one where the desk top is attached to the chair and there is also a little cubby underneath the chair like this:

                                  

or, if I were REALLY lucky, like THIS!

But alas, craigslist and ebay and amazon and facebook marketplace were not my friends. They all cost ridiculous amounts of money or were located in Maine. So I found another type, and settled my heart there, but it was still going to cost me about $200. And most of the websites to buy actual school desks require you to buy in a set of 2.....???? No thanks. So instead, I took Eli's paw patrol kids table, and then some extra crap we had left over from renovation, and made a desk top for him. I know what you're thinking: waste of time. Why not just use the kitchen table? 

Well, our table is small. Jesse uses it for his desk already, and it drives me insane, and I also read that it's good to make a ''space'' for a kid when homeschooling them.... and you know me, super-nester-perfectionist. So I wanted Eli to have his own ''space." We'll see how it turns out. For now, this is what we have. I still have my heart dreaming int he sky of a vintage school desk, or even the knock-off one by delta. I may end up with that, actually... it's a little smaller. We shall see... 

Start off with the paw patrol table- This is the one Eli had. Then I took left over floor planks- yes, my friends, engineered hardwood, and lucky for me, three planks together were nearly exactly the size of the table. So I used wood glue and secured them together. Not sure how well that would hold up to abuse, but we shall see...

Next, I wanted to make sure that the planks didn't damage the top of Eli's paw patrol table, which is soft vinyl/plastic. So I wanted to make some type of batting for the back of the wood to cushion in between. For this, I used some packaging from a recent package we'd received, and old cardboard, and I literally just hot glued it to the back of the wood and cut it down to size....

When finished, I covered it with part of an old plastic table cloth that was used for a party in the past, cutting it down to size. It was slightly cushy on one side, so that provided extra safeguard.

From there, I needed to figure out a way to make it so that the edges of the wood were not rough corners, and to somehow secure the planks to the top of the paw patrol desk, but not permanently. This took a lot of brainstorming, but eventually I figured out how to make kind of like a cap through using sturdy cardboard edges from a large box we had. I used an exacto knife to cut them down to size and then lots of duct tape to tape them back together. 

Eventually I could place it over the top of the planks.... does that make sense? And so it works kind of like a top that secures the planks. But obviously, it's ugly, so we had to fix that.... 

                   

Back to the old party table cloth- I used the rest of it and covered it, kind of like upholstered it I guess. It's a definitely hack-job for sure. I didn't take a picture of the underside. haha

And then after that, I cut up an old, giant pillow case, (one that had previously been used for that giant pillow on my bed in the backround- the yellow one). I cut the pillow case up and upholstered it kinda, over the cardboard and tablecloth batting. And then just made a little name plate for Eli :)

So there you have it! His school desk! It doesn't have storage, and it's bigger than I'd like, and it's not nearly as cute as the vintage chair desk, but at least it works. It's got a hard top. It's not the paw-patrol eye-sore. And he has his own space! 

Be Happy Megin: how God gave me the desires of my Heart through both Terrible and Obedient decisions

Corona-Cuts: I've been struggling to blog lately. I feel like it is in part because I'm tired (cue 24-7 with 2 kids and 2 pets and no ability to have a babysitter since....March). I could certainly use a break, some time to myself, without my constant content-creator (artist in residence Eli Mattias Eng), and suction cup (i.e. breastfeeding 9 month old). I've also been struggling to filter the myriad of voices that inevitably fill my feed since attaining the status master-vocalizer of opinions regarding culture, faith, politics, and pretty much all things  past, present, and future. Indeed, I have appreciated positive feedback from friends and readers, but- as one would expect- there have been the voices of dissent, and I would be lying to pretend that I am not affected when my motives are misunderstood and questioned, or when some hold to opinions and judgments about my spiritual state, beliefs, or actions that leave a bitter-taste in my head.  Being out there requires the practice of finding my identity in Christ, caring less about what others think and most about what I believe to be my calling as Christ's disciple in current circumstances. Perhaps one day I will acquire the confidence and secure sense of self that my shoe collection suggests I have. Presently, I have to master the art. An art over which mastery has been achieved, however, is hair. I am on my first and Eli's second covid-cut, as well as my eleventeenth hair coloring. Proficient I am, and learning more each day! I got bold with the clippers yesterday and gave Eli some incredible new spiki-ness. He requested the ability to make a wave with his hair, not a mo-hawk he asserts, but a wave, like in the ocean. A few weeks back I cut about an inch off of my hair all around and thinned it out. In addition, I added different colors. As I mentioned before, I guess I'm going for the Rainbow Dash of My Little Ponies look?  Many mornings have been spent head full of tin-foil and cleaning stains off the bathroom rug, but hey, I feel a little more in control of my life for sure! 

So when the world becomes too much, find some hair-care-therapy. Rinse, repeat, and rest in the Rainbow. It is, afterall, God's promise of life.. amiright? I think I am. God's myriad mysterious wonders in the works my friends... Be a unicorn. 

                                                                Current Color July 1st

Color in June 

Eli's Wave

What do you do with all your Christmas cards? I can't get rid of mine. I literally just can't. I struggle to get rid of most cards, but cards with pictures... well that is just wrong. But we're in a 2-bedroom... and every year, there are more... no not bedrooms, but CHRISTMAS CARDS! SO what is a girl to do? My friends will disown me if I don't kondo. Thankfully, NYC apartments are notorious for having disgusting metal doors... (shout out to Nicole Rosado for actually helping me realizing aforementioned door is indeed METAL, and I can use my magnets on it since our fancy Jesse-style fridge with all its functions doesn't allow me to do that...facepalm...duh).  But back to the NYC doors: even if you paint them, they chip away and just look hideous. It's like, impossible to have a nice door in a NY apartment. Literally impossible. So, we cover our doors; some people do it with curtains, some people with contact paper, and some people with collages like we're college students living in Mercer Hall or Boone or...gag...Plunkett. We make do- and make our doors into a creation of faces that we can look at every day and find joy amidst the awful news that is the the State of America. Be encouraged, and enjoy the door... and play 'where's Waldo' to find your face. 💗🙌

Once again, claiming offspring as my creation. Happy 9 months to this precious little one. I cannot imagine life without her. The nine months it took to cook her up seem comparatively longer than the nine months we have had her with us, and it hardly seems fair to be so blessed with these two lives, Eli and Eden. I worried about having a daughter. Would I pass on to her my issues? Would I be able to raise her well? Would I love her the way I loved Eli? Would I love her more than I love myself? Would I project onto her my own self-contempt? Knowing the extent of my brokenness, all of these seemed like real possibilities to me. Thankfully I had the vulnerability and wisdom of women who had gone before me ringing in my ears. My mother, my sister, and countless friends, had shared their own fears when having children, especially second children or daughters, so I knew I was not alone in my thoughts and that the God of the universe must care and take care of us women as we create these lives. I hoped God listened to me as I poured out my heart, scared, and as I survived, literally just s.u.r.v.i.v.e.d the nine months of fear, intense weight gain, discomfort, hormonal shifts, and constant seemingly ominous news that it took to grow her! I didn't FEEL like God should listen to me or give me the time of day; I felt like I was failing at the thing I was supposed to be built to do, but I hoped He was having mercy and not judging, and somewhere inside, I guess I knew He was...(I still thank all of you who reminded me on a monthly, weekly, daily, hourly basis that it was okay to be weak and to rest and not to be doing anything else productive by the standards of the world. Even my dad told me to be patient with myself. I was growing a human. Just press into that, and give myself grace. I needed to be reminded of those things a lot). 

Finally, she arrived, much to my surprise in a way and time I never thought she'd arrive. I was mentally and emotionally prepared for a pre-eclampsia induced Cesarean section, but instead, I was cleared of pre-e at my 39 week appointment, and given the go ahead to wait until, gulp, possibly 41 weeks to deliver because it did not look like she was coming any time soon! (Holy goodness gracious and mother of all things holy, how was I going to survive THAT?) Three days later, my water broke, and by the time I got to the hospital, I was full blown pre-eclamptic; yet, God allowed me to deliver without having to have a c-section, just under the looming 48 hour mark for my water having been broke and just under the time-limit allowed for vaginal births after c-sections. I had half the hospital staff chugging xanax and vodka probably in order to deal with their anxiety and malpractice clauses, but Jesus, Jesse, and my incredible doula (and doctor and nurses) got me through. (Although I did cause that doctor a lot of sweat, and one nurse gave me attitude, but that was still better than my experience with Eli where I literally chose the spelling of my son's middle name based on the fact that my nurse- who was a complete bi**** to me, said she thought I should spell it differently. There you go. Verdict in. You like one spelling? Well then I'm choosing the other as*****. Sorry, we're allowed to curse during labor, right? That crap is hard, and she was a meanie, BIG TIME). Anyway, back to the point-  Eden Evalea Eng came out miraculously, by God's grace, and through His provision, even though I was surrendered and willing to suffer a fate much different, one I expected I even deserved for not having handled my pregnancy too well in the first place, (I told you I am self-contemptuous). 

She gave us a little scare, but once again, God provided, and we were home together, out of the NICU in less than 48 hours. Recovery was AWFUL, but here I am, nine months out, and I'm fine. God took care of me. None of it was easy. None of it happened as smoothly as I wanted, but I survived, and I am blessed. God didn't give me all the awful things I deserved for handling my pregnancy so terribly and seemingly failing at every turn. He did not let any of the disasters that threatened come to pass. I learned a great lesson, as I've mentioned before, that He does not give us what we deserve, and He does not give us what we deserve. The good things we think we earn, and the awful things we think we deserve... God withholds them all in grace, wisdom, justice, and LOVE. All to draw us more and more into the revelation of who God is, our Great Creator King, Savior, and Lord, forever to be praised. Amen. And Happy NINE months to this beautiful creation, God's Eden Evalea Eng.

The Dark Dance: Can I claim this as a creation? I mean, at least partially? I know he belongs to God, and I can't even take full credit for his DNA, but I did bear him in my body for nine months and slave through a fruitless labor for hours on end while STARVING! And I do spend most of every second of every day with him. He is worth it all and more. Look at this guy. Have you ever seen a better dancer? I haven't. What a kid! Love him so much!

Why do I write? I keep asking myself that question. I struggle with trusting my motives. I dissect them, like I'm searching to find the impure part that would give me permission to silence myself. 

There is a home-video shot by my mother on one of those old camcorders, the kind which a person had to haul up on one's shoulder, point at the subject, and position with scope behind his or her eye, (an act ensuring the ability actually to exist in the moment with the subject would be sacrificed). Mama pointed it at my brother and me; the year was probably 1988. Bryant stood and danced at a toy microphone, singing "a-bee-bop-Megin-a-bee-bop-Megin," wearing acid-washed M.C. Hammer pants and sporting a bowl cut. I darted into view, in my tie-dye crop-top, grabbing the mic stand to sing my own version of "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes" mixed with a random story and whatever the heck else came to mind in that moment. 

"Megin, Megin, stop. Let your brother have the mic. Let your brother sing for a minute baby girl."

Hmph. I crossed my arms, lowered my chin to my chest, scrunched my eyes, and took 4 massive stomps until I was out of site of her viewfinder, blonde hair crunching at my shoulders.

That is the scene I have of myself from childhood- a kid constantly wanting to hog the spotlight- always wanting to be the center of attention, and having to have her parents tell her to let someone else take a turn. I remember my older sister telling me, deservedly, that I was a brat. I remember BEING a brat to my brother, and I suppose try as she did, my mother could not quite nurture my spirit enough in our home. It was inevitably crushed at times. That is life, and my life was a lot better than many. 

Suffice it to say, I struggle, to this day, even at 37. I wonder, should I speak? Am I trying to be the center of attention? Do I have anything worthy to say? Am I silencing another? Am I taking the spotlight, stealing the mic? And no matter how confident I may come across to you with my pink and blue and blonde hair and multi-colored outfits with shoes of numerous brands and 15 pocketbooks at a time, I am not that...confident as you may think. Criticism has a tendency to crush me in a way that reveals my lack of identity in Christ and amount of identity in others and countless idols. I am a work in progress. 

Yet still surges up, still spills out, the words, the life, the breath....God's work? God's creation? Dare I call it that... ? I do not know. I will say this, Eli has been a magnificent healer. Watching him grow; witnessing his innocence and the purity with which he creates and shares and demands the spotlight has been balm to my weary soul. I have seen my 4-year-old, 5-year-old, 13-year-old, 16-year-old, 20-year-old, and 37-year-old self in his big brown eyes and little hands, in his voice as he sings, and his daily new dance moves. I have watched him create and teach me and realized I was not wrong in my being. I was overwhelming, albeit, but I was not wrong. I was God's; I am God's. I need tempering, and God will do that in God's time, but I am not wrong, so I should write, and I should sing, and I should dance, and I should share, come what may...regardless if anyone or even myself tries to silence me. 

"Megin, Megin. Take up the mic, baby girl. For yourself. For your brother. For the world. It's okay." -God ... and Mama 

Hi Everyone- update about MeginLeaWrites

For those who follow me on social media, you may have noticed that I have recently taken up to fleshing out my age-old blog, the place you are at right now  It only took a decade, but I finally figured out how to use this site, kind of. Many number of you through the years have read me here and encouraged me to write more, to write a book, or try to publish. I typically thought you had lost your mind because I lacked the confidence both to do those things and that I had anything worthy of a vast quantity of people reading. Cue corona-virus, going stir-crazy with a need to craft, and my own aptitude for being stubbornly pissed off when people listen to my opinion about social issues, and I am finally taking the time to invest in my writing. And, as it turns out, you guys were onto something all along. It is true that God knows us better than we know ourselves, and that God uses God’s people to teach God’s children. Thank God for that. I digress- that is literally my favorite word because it describes what I do every day- all day…digress.

Anyway, I am now publishing under MeginLeaWrites at https://medium.com/meginleawrites. If you have a moment, click that link ↑↑↑↑↑↑ ↑↑↑and follow me on medium. You can set up a free account and read a certain number of my publications (and other’s works) for free each month. I do not know how much I’ll actually publish, and I will continue to use the good old blog as well. To have unlimited access to mine and other authors’ work on medium, you have to join their site, for $5 a month or $50 a year. I am not asking any of you to do that. Maybe if I make it big 😉. Ha! For now, you can just peruse whatever articles they will let you use freely. Apparently, I can eventually get paid if my readership is high enough. I am still figuring out how all that works….and the learning curve is slow for this girl who is not a fan of math and analytics. I prefer pizza and purses and the other fine arts.

Thank you for taking the time to help a girl here. My husband appreciates it. Goodness knows he’s probably exhausted from being the only bread-winner for Jesus in this family while I stay home teaching Eli and Eden and the pets how to sing and dance to the ABCs while repurposing cardboard boxes and basically any else that should be thrown out but can be lysoled, painted, and sewn instead. So while this may not win us any loaves just yet, we'll take it all with grace and be thankful :). God bless you for reading this and for being part of my village. Stay safe and healthy out there! Peace- MeginLea

Any Excuse for Hello Kitty: Right? Because I really can't get away with it in any other form while also trying to maintain a modicum of claim to classical style and edge when it comes to personal fashion? So here you have it. A 15 year old hello kitty handkerchief that was either given to me by StephenJay during college or that I got in Hong Kong; I can't recall... but either way, I can finally use it in some way that doesn't embarrass my husband (or the false self I try to put on display for the world).

Yeah, I have some pink hair now too...

the longer the quarantine, the more I become 

Rainbow Dash from MLP

The Apple; The Tree: I am my mother's daughter, and my child is his mother's son... without a doubt. 

   This picture was taken in Hawaii.  →→→    I guess I was around 4 or 5 years old? That's the age Eli is now. I have been told that I did not even let my mother go to the bathroom in peace when I was that age. I would stick my fingers under the door to try to talk to her. I would sit in there, while she pooped, and tell her stories. No one in our immediate family or extended family....probably no one we ever met believed I would ever leave home one day, much less move so far away! 

20 years old, holding baby Ringo. Mom was visiting for parents' weekend;
hence the dog... as well, I randomly had pink-eye... 

→→→ This picture is of my infamous college cubby. You can ask Whitney Scanling all about it. She has stories to tell, including which involve having to 'check' it each day when she came in to find out if I was up there asleep or being an introvert and just not speaking. BackStory: Freshmen year of college, I had had a roommate all of one month. That girl was literally the roommate from Hades, and being that she attended class ONE time, (seriously...only once), the entire first month, she was kicked out of school quite quickly.  

Fast forward to me, after having endured a month of hell, getting a regular sized dorm room all to myself for the first semester, and then, (after praying and begging God that I wouldn't get stuck with a roommate after Christmas because I was too traumatized and had a great routine going), ended up getting to keep it the whole year.... God knew me. He took care of His girl. He knew I was incapable of living in such close proximity with a random person at that point. I needed ....time... to be able to do that. Being in college ... away from home and my mother .... was feat enough. Fast forward again to sophomore year, I'd made a friend! The wonderful Whitney Glen!! And we were going to be roomies. I was excited. If I had to live with someone, it was definitely going to be her. HER I could handle. HER I could fight with and deal with it. (And boy did we fight....aka get mad at each other....say nothing for days while we sat in silence with our backs to each other on aim....and then write each other long hand-written letters where we explained ourselves and professed our undying love. Gina and Sally for life). But alas, even though I'd found my person, I still needed MY space. I didn't mind the top bunk, but how to make it to where I could escape from the world still? That is where Mom came in....and her amazing creativity....and affinity to fix any and everything for her children out of her great compassionate heart that wanted us just to be happy! We bought fabric at WalMart....I remember not liking it completely because it was blue, and I was a Phi Mu (pink)...not an ADPi, but I compromised. It had cats. We could work with it. So Mom sat up all night and sewed curtains for me. We bought some hardware, and nailed/screwed/rigged those suckers up to the ceiling, (promising Whitney we'd pay the fees at the end of the year for putting giant holes in the ceiling which was against the rules... and fees we did pay even though I tried to cover up the holes with toothpaste...but it was worth it). And there I had it....my CUBBY. My refuge. My dwelling place amidst the storm.... (lest I wax heretical, obviously Jesus was my dwelling place... but I needed that cubby to meet with Him)! I have never had better naps and sleeps in my life than in that cubby with my eye mask and ear plug (singular because I only have one working ear). That.was.the.life. 

Fast-forward one last time to Eli Mattias, 4.5 years old, and sharing a room with his little sister. He knows nothing else other than sharing a room, but it is a sacrifice in my mind at times to think of my kids sharing a room. I was certainly privileged and blessed in life to grow up where space was cheap and we had plenty of it to be individuals and create our own little homesteads. So coming to terms with my kids sharing a room in a 2 bedroom apartment in Manhattan has been a challenge. By Manhattan and New York standards, our apartment is the jackpot! It's spacious- roomy. We are B.L.E.S.S.E.D. By Southern/Georgia standards, it's more like "holy crap how do you live like that?" Neither is wrong. They are just different standards- with pluses and minuses each their own. So I wanted to make sure that Eli and Eden's room was the most space-saving/organized Mecca that it could be for them. I had wanted to make curtains to hide everything we stored under his loft bed since, welll, we got the loft bed in 2017, but I couldn't sew....as well, I couldn't figure out how to hang them if I bought them. But then God gave me the idea of a tension rod which subsequently found on ebay for about 12 bucks.... and thus knowing about my latest adventures in sewing, I was well on my way to having THIS problem solved. I used curtains that we'd hung previously when the bedoom was only Eli's room. (I'd splurged on new ones when I found out we were having a girl and would need to have a room that was gender-inclusive and since not known what to do with these old curtains since Jenn...my go-to unload the baby stuff woman- didn't need them). I cut them down to size and hemmed them...which was no small feat for these slow-to-the-learning-curve fingers that lead me to repent of the curses I say in my head each time I have to re-thread my needle and bobbin. And wah-lah!! FINALLY. Curtains for Eli's pirate ship's lower deck!

And here is! My son, with all the wonderful things I had stored UNDER the pirate shipped SHOVED into the corner of his room now, (which is doing wonders for my OCD-organization-loving mind, let me tell ya...😑), and hanging out in his NEW HOME where he swears he is sleeping tonight all by himself. He's got a night light and a chair and a sleeping bag in there... His very own little cubby. Mama and Whitney Glen would be proud. I know I am.  

HomeSchooling Much? I've tried, really I have, and I'm learning to give myself grace. Thankfully, Eli's teacher is full of compliments anytime he sees me self-loathing about how LITTLE we have done. Eli refuses to do ANYTHING unless it is disguised as play or a game. And even then, the game has to be SUPER fun. No boring games for this kid. And super fun usually means ridiculously complicated with new rules each time he takes a turn- new rules he creates, of course, and that do not necessarily accentuate the learning aspect of the game. Sigh. But make-believe, now THAT is his favorite. He's always loved to play 'pretend' and use his imagination. I played like that as a child basically all the time. I can't really remember actually using any toy for a specific purpose. Toys were accessories in the world I was constantly creating. And that is how it goes for my little mini-me. 

Most recently, he decided he is a pirate, and his bed has come in handy as a pirate ship, complete with an upper deck. He made some requests to make it a bit more 'pirate-y,' so I've been complying. We ran into a little snafu when I spent a long time on his ship steering wheel only to have him say "Oh. But it can't turn all the way by itself Mommy. You need to redo it." We had to take a pause and learn about being thankful for the things we have and for Mommy's hard work. Thankfully Daddy was able to assist during this pause because Mommy was just agitated that she'd spent a good 45 minutes making a stupid steering wheel out of hangers only for her child to tell her it wasn't exactly like he wanted it. (Flashback to when a young mother would brush and fix her 8-year-old daughters hair, spending a good 20 minutes each morning before school getting out all the lumps and bumps and making it perfect, and then daughter would take it down because it wasn't good enough. Mom eventually quit fixing said child's hair. Child had a mind of her own. Not sure what happened to that child. She probably is out there Momming some strong-willed child...) 

ANYWAY, here are some pictures of our adventures! He still has some more ideas we are going to attempt... all in time. And as we attempt our adventures, I'll continue sneaking in there little snippets of practice with letters, spelling, making sounds, problem solving, estimating, etc. We were learning about halves and wholes and portions earlier in the week... but it's all really organic. It has to be. He literally won't allow for anything else. It requires me to trust God and to be on my toes. They should have used THAT as incentive for getting me to pay attention when I was in high school. "When am I ever going to need to know this? or use this?" I probably asked countless times in history, chemistry, algebra, geometry, english, and civics class. I feel like those incredible professors were probably thinking, "One day, my dear, when you are having to teach a miniature version of yourself, and you finally realize just how complex, ridiculous, and glorious you are all at the same time." 

AHOY MATEY! 

Our anchor made of cardboard and felt ribbon. He docks
his bed to Eden's crib every day when he comes in from sailing.

Our E sail. The things hanging from the edge of the bed are his bouys.
They are small lampshades a neighbor gave us.

Camping out on dry land. Eden is wearing two bows.
Eli picks out her bows daily...yes bows plural. He isn't satisfied with choosing only one.

Note the ship steering wheel. It does not turn 360 degrees. He was not pleased.

Climbing up the side of his ship using his stool.

Getting ready to set sail. The long wrapping paper role is his huge spy glass.

Home made bow and arrow. He was a little upset it didn't actually shoot.
We practiced using our imagination and throwing the cardboard/hanger arrow.

Pirates taking captives! Watch out!

Seventeen Years in the Making:   I finally sewed on my patches from Hong Kong University. Actually, perhaps my math is wrong. I was at HKU in 2004, so that's 16 years, but I don't feel like editing the photo. We'll just pretend it's correct. I bought these patches and this cat bag in Hong Kong in 2004. I never had my mom sew them on because I wasn't sure if that's where I wanted to put them. For 16 years folks, I feared commitment. I was such a perfectionist that I never sewed them in place. I used the bag, but the patches were always pinned. But then I have this pink tank from Anthropologie, a tank upon which I probably spent way too much money, and it somehow got a giant circular stain on it. I tried everything to get it out, and it just made it bigger. I missed wearing this shirt so much! It was a favorite pre-pregnancy with Eli, and then I could wear it during pregnancy with him because it was so roomy, but shortly afterward, it got stained. I've saved it all the years because I loved it and wanted to figure out some way to fix it. I couldn't just throw it out. Is that weird? So then I had an idea the other day....after I forged this new sewing path...PUT A PATCH ON IT! So I decided to commit and use one of my Hong Kong patches. Good thing I never sewed them in place on that bag, huh? I knew it! Save it until you're ready MeginLea. Moral of the story- Don't be a perfectionist....but then again, if you are a perfectionist, God will still use it for His glory and good... now I can wear my shirt again!

P.S. I'm not going to talk about how much of a literal learning curve there is to sewing in a circle....wow... at least this time I didn't curse. I laughed at myself the whole time as I messed up. The lines are really crooked, but I don't care. I'm just excited to have the dang patch on the shirt and patch on my bag...AFTER SEVENTEEN (aka sixteen) YEARS! Woohoo!! HKUELIC Team for the win!! Shout out to  you all!! (Jenn, Jacky, Janet, Erin, Amy, Bekah, Matt, Preston, Titus/Johnathon!!! What I would give for a reunion!!) 

Hair Hair Everywhere: Eli requested short hair that would spike and look messy. I have been terrified of clippers. My biggest fear was butchering my child's hair and having to shave it... or butchering it when we couldn't even go to a hairdresser and get it ''fixed,'' but I decided to bite the bullet (I wish I could think of a scissor or cutting analogy). I just went for it. Worst case scenario, he has uneven hair for a month while we are SHELTERING-IN-PLACE. 😑Obviously there are WORSE things in life. So I did it. (I'm still tempted to write SEW). It is certainly not even on the left side. I wanted to start with the number 3 on the clippers, but we couldn't find that one, so I used number 2. The right side isn't as short and blends better. The back is ooookaaay....not as bad as the left side, but not perfect obviously. I definitely am open to suggestion. Aunt Brenda? Lisa? Other mom-hair-stylists? Needless to say, Eli is quite pleased. He loves it. It's messy enough for him on top. My little boy is growing up. 

I'm itching all over now though. That hair gets EVERYWHERE with the dang clippers. I went to the bathroom, and it was inside my pants! What the???? How does THAT happen? I swear I didn't cut my child's hair while not wearing pants. Is this a THING? Like do all beauticians know that you just end up with people's hair all over you? If so, I could never style hair...like ever. That is disgusting. It's bad enough that it's my child's hair.... but other people's hair?? All over me?? And all over the place? That is just nasty. I would die. I am too OCD. Never. I just couldn't. 

That is all. Happy Monday everyone. And if you want an uneven haircut, you know where to find me! You can wear the super hero cape and sit in his booster seat. 

Before- his grown out previous Mom haircut

Please note we are using two super-hero capes as drapes

After. He's happy. I guess that's all that matters.

The picture of shame. So uneven!

He has his mama's cowlick!

Not too shabby here tho....

Well except for that one part...no, it's not the lighting. ha

Messy hair. Don't care. Boy mom. Love him!

Sew it Begins: The sewing projects have commenced! I have wanted to learn to sew for years, literally YEARS. I sat down once, about ten years ago, at my mother's sewing machine and asked her to show me how to sew. She threaded the needle for me, lined up my fabric, told me to hold it in place and gently press the pedal. I did. And I literally almost sewed my finger off, or so it felt. Holding everything in place was so hard! The machine wobbled! That needle moved so quickly! This was hard work...work that obviously could kill me. "Nevermind," I said and continued to dream, wishing I could sew, but knowing it was entirely something I could obviously NEVER do. 

Years passed. I married Jesse. His mother literally studied design in school. She sewed countless things for us. (Our dog likes to eat mattresses, bed sheets, couch cushions, you name it). Everytime I would think, "I need to learn to sew! I'm failing at this wife thing! We ask her to fix too many things!" I kept imagining, "someday I will get her to teach me to sew," but I never did. Too scary. Too hard. I wouldn't be good at it. It would take too long. 

The first kid came. I REALLY needed to learn how to sew. There were SEW many things I wanted to make. I continued hand-stitching, taking things to the cleaners to get sewn, and getting my mom or mother-in-law to sew for me. Eden came along...."dag- I could make hair bows if I knew how to sew!! But alas, I don't have a sewing machine. And it's so hard. I can't do it." 

Then Covid hit, and I found myself stuck at home more often than usual. And without the pressure of social interaction, it seemed like I literally had a myriad of extra hours in a day. "Maybe I'll learn to sew?" I thought. But I didn't have a machine; thus, I started looking online to see how much a beginners machine would cost, and I even reached out to some friends who sewed to ask for input. It looked like I could get a beginners machine for around $150.... maybe I'd try it. I decided to pray about it. SEW I did. (Sorry, are you getting tired of that yet?)

"Should I invest my time this way, God? I don't want to waste the money... I don't know. I'm hesitant to start new projects..." and that was it. I didn't know if God would actually answer me. I figured He was pretty busy with all the Covid cases. I was just a little girl talking to him about crafting. Yet literally within a few hours after I prayed about it, I got a call from a family member. We talked, and then came the question, "Is there anything you need right now that you don't want to get because you don't know if you have the money?" I've gotten this question before, and my answer has always been "no. I'm fine. We're fine," but before I could get out the word no, it was like my body went into autopilot and started in with the story about how I was thinking of learning to sew! SEW there it was, an offer to finance my very own sewing machine from a family member...within like a few hours of asking God if I should take up the project. What a gift from God! Incredible. I was just asking what He thought....not asking Him for the money for it! Wow... was this a Matthew 7  moment or what? 

Trying to pretend I'm not pissed that it's not easier.

SEW I got the machine recommended by my friend and waited very impatiently for a week for it to arrive, complete with a rainbow assortment of thread and all the little accessories one needs to start sewing (like a purple sewing machine cover so that your machine looks pretty)! The first thing I attempted to sew was jeans, for Eden. That didn't turn out so well. I broke my needle and cursed within the first ten minutes and then had to watch freaking youtube videos about how to change a needle on a singer 4411. Sewing was apparently going to be a means of sanctification, I could tell, because my threshold for incompetence was not high, and I was making some dumb mistakes. I did NOT have grace for myself as I tried to read the manual and figure things out as I went. Honestly, it's still a struggle. I asked Jesse to pray for me this morning. I guess I missed out on those lessons as a kid, that you don't have to be perfect, that mistakes are okay.... I don't know. But alas, my desire to figure it out is so far winning out, and I have quit....although I threatened to the other day after I tangled my thread literally 8 times in a row and kept having to rethread the needle and re-insert my bobbin. I'm trying to watch the youtube tutorials, but once again...impatience. 

I opted for some easier projects after the broken needle and cursing fiasco. I ended up with a mask, some curtains for Eli's loft bed, a headband for Eden, and a few other miscellaneous things. Please just don't look at my hem lines. I don't think they could be more crooked if I tried. Today, I conquered this little project from an idea I got from pinterest. I didn't have a potholder with which I was willing to part, so I used a two dish towels, cutting one down to size and hemming the edges. I used some  thick string that came with one of Eden's baby blankets, and then left over buttons, (of which we have buckets full). 

Please ignore that my corners aren't 90s....and do

NOT look at my lines....

                   

No Slip Dish Towel

OH! And.....drumroll please.....
the HAIRBOWS ARE HERE!!!!

⇓⇓⇓

Eden is currently wearing two hair bows because Eli says she looks even cuter that way. Smart kid.

The Hairbows are Coming: Don't judge me. The following are facts that yield an obvious result: I have a baby girl. I'm one of the girliest girls you've probably ever met. Eden's hair is long enough to make into a "Pebbles" hairstyle. ⇒I ORDERED THE DANG BOWS. So of course, that means, I need somewhere to STORE the bows. And being me, I can't just put them on a shelf, and we don't have any drawer space. So obviously I NEEDED one of those cutesie little hair bow holder thingies. Cue Pinterest! I found this one that looks like Minnie Mouse, and fell in love. But when I clicked  on it to see how to make it, it required equipment that was going to cost me another thirty dollars. That's ridiculous. One does not spend thirty dollars to make a hair bow holder. One spends thirty dollars on hair bows. Duh. So I used some items we had around the house:

an old tin can top that I'd saved because....well, I save things 

I think I could possibly use or that are just cool... even though it
drives Jesse a little crazy.

 I used a receiving blanket of Eden's. She only had about 29483723 that we barely even used. 

                                                 

Then I used an old bag that one of my purses came in .... I don't know who actually stores their purses in these bags. Who has the space for that? Typically the purse storage bags become laundry bags for when we travel. Today, it became a part of Eden's hair bow holder. 

Add some hot glue,  a little thread  (although I could have gotten by without it...but I wanted to make it more secure),

and some cardboard, (sorry not pictured...but you get the idea), and wah-lah! 

My own Minnie Mouse hair bow holder! 

Originally I planned to hang it like this...

But Eli says it looks better this way because it looks like Minnie has a nose!

So I don't know. What do you think? Should I use it with the 'gathered' side showing? Or with the 'smooth' side showing? NOT that it really matters. I'm just glad Eli didn't protest to having something so girly enter ''their'' room. (Some other time I'll have to tell you the story about when I accidentally called it 'Eden's room.' We won't make that mistake again). 


The Cross

Eli and I created this cross back in March, during the first or second week of quarantine. I can't recall exactly. What I do recall is that it was during the initial shock and awe period, that what was happening was really happening. And God was slowing us down. That will be the challenge when life is normal; if we go back to normal, when we go back to normal. That will be the challenge. Will we take with us what we learned from Covid? 

People from down South were making crosses, lit crosses; they flooded my facebook feed. Yards filled with Christmas lights and crosses, as a symbol of unity and support. New Yorkers were gathering together apart at 7 p.m. wherever they were, from their balconies, to clap for essential workers. I wanted to make a cross, but we don't have a yard. And I don't have access to a Home Depot living in Manhattan. And then it hit me- left over planks from renovation! They were on the terrace! And the extra twinkle lights for which we hadn't the space and which I'd overbought two years ago... Use them!

So I stopped immediately because I could that day. My to-do list didn't matter. We were on a permanent-extended stay-at-home order. Eli and I brought out the nails, some wood glue, the planks, the lights, and we made a cross while still in our pajamas. I had some left over spray paint from when I made his birthday decorations last year. We painted the planks blue because it was the only can with enough paint to cover the entire cross. Everything turned out perfectly, but I hadn't pursued perfection...and the activity was not one of my agenda items for the day. I couldn't cross it off a list.

When I stopped working at GFC in 2017, I had long ministry list, and I wasn't getting around to doing any of it. Somewhere inside, I knew; God was telling me, that I'd end up doing more ministry once it was no longer my job. Because ministry had become just that- my job. It seemed like there were endless goals to meet, expectations, or people to please...even if those things were self-induced and I knew all the theoretical answers about how to be in ministry. You don't go to counseling for 7 years and learn nothing. Yet I struggled to keep my identity out of what I did and in Him. Honestly, I couldn't keep it out of what I did and in Him. And my ministry was impacted. I knew I needed to stop, and our church couldn't afford to pay me anymore in the first place. They weren't going to ask me to quit, but how could I keep working and draining them? The world said, 'you should get paid something for what you do, any time you invest.' I felt guilty I even entertained that thought. I certainly believe ministers should be paid, and I think many ministers are under-paid, but this was different. I wasn't the pastor. And I needed a break. And the church needed to re-structure and re-think its focus. I needed to be found in Christ again, not bound by numbers or should haves or opinions or debates about church growth and ministry directions. Perhaps our church needed that too. So, on perfectly good terms, I stepped down, was let go... it's all in the wording, and it means the same thing. Sometimes God asks us to trust Him. The church was taking a step of faith in down-sizing, in taking a sabbath, in re-structuring. I was taking a step of faith in trusting God would provide for us even if I wasn't getting a little extra for us. It was an unknown step, but I knew God was calling us to it. And I'm glad He did. I feel my capacity and desire for ministry expanded and renewed beyond what it was when I first began in 2007, or even before then when I volunteered during my college days. Without the pressure (once again, many times self-induced), my wings spread. I was energized. In weakness, I found He strengthened me. I rested...or fought myself to rest as God hemmed me in, through illness and a knee injury. I carried a child, and suffered mentally the whole 9 months I carried her, and then I delivered her...all the while, God was delivering me.

When this is all said and done, I hope we keep remembering, we don't need to make a list of what crosses to make for God and wait until we have a yard or live near Home Depot. We don't have to work so hard to get the yard or get to Home Depot. God has a way for us to make a cross right now, right in front of us, using what we already have, and if we can stop worrying about trying to make it perfect, we'll find out, it already is... He made it perfect on a cross some 2,000 years ago.


The Upside Down Project

Welcome to the Upside Down Project. Thanks for taking the time to stop by. There isn't much in life that feels right-side up at the moment. Covid-19 has turned much of everything upside down. In life, I've found, however, that it is possible to encounter unexpected and unprecedented beauty amidst intense disorientation, disappointment, even despair. What we see as completely upside-down, God, the Universe, fate, or whatever you want to call it uses to surprise us. We find a hand to hold onto, something that gives us great hope or a portion of meaning, and we are stunned. Suddenly, right-side up is less important because we realize perhaps we were looking at some things upside down. We're stunned because if it weren't for the pain, we wouldn't have been looking for anything to grasp; yet that which we are grasping is now that for which we are grateful. And then, emotions surge, and we don't know what to do with them... the juxtaposition of the pain, the suffering, sickness, and perplexity with beauty and ease, the sense of goodness. Where do we put it? So we grapple, and we adjust our lens, our perspective, to make right-side up of the upside down.  My hope is that through taking some time to reflect together, we can share these experiences and create something beautiful. Below are some questions. Answer as much or as little as you like. After a week or so, I plan to use the responses to craft some sort of art....either a song, or a collage of words and phrases... something...  to express the beauty people are uncovering in the midst of their pain. I want to use each story entered, so understand when sharing that portions of what you share will be reflected or alluded to in the art work. I will not be parroting people's stories to the world, but I will seek to encompass the themes of stories and name the specific beauty. Hopefully the final product will be an accumulation of the goodness we've seen...and it will produce glory... glory that gives us hope and fuels us to endure and endeavor knowing that in those times when nothing feels right, when nothing IS right, that actually, we are upside down, and it will be okay in time, as we adjust, and uncover beauty underneath...


Catching Up During Covid

Dana's Hip Hop Summary/TLDR: We care about you, even if we've lost touch!  Times are rough but we'd like to hear from you - if we can help with finances, prayer, etc., if you'd just like to chat, play virtual games, or just let us know how you are doing!  Fill out the form below.

Megin's book:
Hello Everyone! If you are receiving this form, it is because at some point between 2008 and 2018, you were part of youth programs at Grace Faith Church! God has blessed us with having kept up with some of you alllllll these years, (since you were little 4th grade babies), but there are others we have lost touch with through the years. Nonetheless, we still remember you, think of you often, and have fond memories of field trips, retreats, meals, ridiculous games, sports, reading, homework, crafts, "lessons," eating tons of cup noodles, playing lots of ping pong, and of course, Ms. Megin's dog!  We wanted to write to touch base with you and see how you all are doing. Our world is certainly going through an unprecedented experience right now, a world-wide pandemic where we are seeing just how little control we actually have over our lives. Realizing that can be scary, but we are not left to weather this storm alone or without support. Although these specific times may have taken us by surprise, they have not taken God by surprise, and He still has plans for our lives. We would love to hear from you, hear about what's going on in your life, rekindle relationships, and see if there is any way we can support and encourage one another during this time. With that said, please take a minute to answer some of the following questions as little or much as you like, and hopefully we will be in touch soon! Thank You!!! With Love, Megin & Jesse & all your GFC brothers and sisters!!! p.s. Please feel free to share this form with anyone you know who was a part of GFC youth in the past! :
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Recipes:

Babyfood: So I've always wanted to be one of those moms who made her own baby food. Ever since I found out it was possible and that my mother-in-law apparently did it when her 15 children were babies (kidding...about the # of children only), I wanted to give it a try, but alas, I never did. Putting a small piece of banana into a baby feeder was the closest I ever came to being THAT mom. My husband ,and resident health guru, however, is the mom I always wanted to be. 

If you know us, you know that Jesse has a knack for getting "into things." When he finds something he thinks works, he goes hard-core, all out, INTO it. Whether it be his childhood obsession with ginko biloba or his current trend into eating REAL food that has filled out 2 bedroom LES apartment with an apocalypse-ready amount of various health supplements, broths, oils (mct, coconut, etc), vinegars, vitamins, ghee, and whatever else he finds out we are supposed to be eating instead of cow's milk and pizza, (my go-to diet), my husband is constantly seeking to go above and beyond and learn more. It's something I find endearing and maddening both at once. 

This past week, these showed up at our house. I wondered why he'd bought them, and how he was going to get left over baby food into them, only to later realize that he bought them not for left-over gerbers, but for his OWN creations! He's been making Eden her own baby food!! I asked his permission to post this. He was a bit timid as he isn't too certain of his exact recipes yet and says he is still experimenting. I, however, am just in AWE that he takes the time and energy even to attempt this! Amazing! So far he has tried combing cooked spinach, sweet potato, and olive oil. I guess we'll keep you posted on what he comes up with. It is a science, I suppose. I told him he should reach out to the amazing Whitney Coleman who wins the award for mom of the century for how much love and devotion she puts into making her son's food. She is so disciplined. I know she doesn't do it by choice, but there are still plenty of parents who wouldn't do it even if they knew they needed to do it. So perhaps she can offer Jesse recipes! For now, you can enjoy this sweet pic of my little veggie baby gobbling up her daddy's home-made baby food. My wonderful husband, the perfectly 'crunchy' mother I always aspired to be. I'm a lucky gal!

Banana Oat Chocolate Chip Bread/Cake:

Preheat oven to 375 degrees

Stir:
1 1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/2 cup light brown sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt

Blend:
1 cup oats
2 bananas
1/2 cup to cup of raspberries
3/4 cup yogurt
1 1/2 tablespoon hemp/flax seed mixture (optional)
1 1/2 tablespoon chocolate shakeology (optional)

Mix into the blend:
1 egg
2 tablespoons lemon juice (maybe a little less if you've left out the optional ingredients)
1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Combine all ingredients into bowl and mix with large spoon
Stir in whatever leftover chocolate chips you find in your house. haha Okay maybe it was 1/2 a cup?? I dunno

Bake 30 minutes.
WAHLAH!

(picture to come)

Oatmeal Raisin Chocolate Chip Bites!!!!

1. Blend in food processor: 
  3/4 cup steal cut oats
  3/4 cup rolled oats (or you can do all rolled oats)
  2/8 tsp salt
  2/4 tsp baking soda
  4 tbsp brown sugar
  2 tbsp regular sugar
  1 banana
2. Combine blended ingredients in bowl with:
   4 tbsp chocolate chips
   4 tbsp raisins
   2 tbsp semi melted butter or margarine
   3 tbsp skim milk
3. Mix together. Preheat oven to 375. Bake for 7 minutes. Makes about 15!!! Mmmm and the batter is yummy too!!!

(picture to come)

Megin's List:

More than 25 because I don't know when to stop-



February 7, 2009 at 6:23 PM











1. I put off writing this for a while even though I wanted to because I was too proud to succumb.
2. I analyzed whether or not I would write this simply because I wanted to talk about myself and see if people would comment.
3. I practiced different things I'd say, got mad at myself for doing that, and then just decided to write it for fun.
4. I had many strange phobias as a child: ex: hats, gloves, boots, ceiling fans.
5. I'm absolutely terrified of dismembered dolls, doll parts, and empty swimming pools.
6. It's hard to remember life before American Idol.
7. I took a leap of faith and step of obedience in 2003 by going to China and it completely changed the course of my life.
8. I was diagnosed with severe clinical depression when I was in high school and told I would probably struggle with it for the rest of my life because of the 16 previous years I'd spent in an abusive home environment; I share my experience many times to combat the Christian stigma that depressed people don't need counseling or medication but simply 'more faith.'
9. If you and my dog were both trapped in a burning building and I could only save one of you, well...sorry but you might die.
10. I tried to electrocute my brother when I was about 7 years old; now he's my best friend.
11. I was a Christian many years before I fell in love with Jesus.
12. God loves me so much that he is a jealous God that cuts away everything that comes between himself and me...
13. Sometimes it's hard, but I'm really glad #12 is true.
14. I have a bit of an obsession with Elisabeth Elliot, even went to the same church with her for a while, but was always too afraid to ever talk to her.
15. Growing up, I was so attached to my mom, people thought I'd never leave home even for college...guess I outgrew that.
16. Mama always told me how beautiful I was when I was younger. I'll never forget the day in about 3rd grade that I looked in the mirror and realized/decided it wasn't true. I've struggled with severely hating my outward appearance ever since then.
17. God's put a lot of passion in me for reconciliation between the races and cross cultural ministry/realizing the Gospel in different cultural contexts. Maybe that's why I date a Chinese boy.
18. When I'm running and see other runners, I secretly race them.
19. I once prayed I'd get to see God in miraculous ways, doing miraculous things, like so many other missionaries...ever since then he's been completely turning my life upside and showing me....it's been pretty hard...and pretty awesome.
20. I contracted MRSA staph infection before it was so publicized in the news. It took over a year to get it under control. My body hasn't been the same since, and sometimes I suffer from repercussions, but I don't usually talk about it because I'm afraid people will think I'm lying.
21. I use big words the wrong way a lot. It makes me really mad.
22. I'm obsessed with grammar but suck at spelling.
23. I've fallen completely in love with the after school kids at GFC. When they give me hugs, I feel like my heart is melting :).
24. I wrote my first song when I was 7 years old. Mama photocopied the lyrics and send out recordings to all my aunts and uncles. I've been writing songs since, but I don't let mama hear them most of the time.
25. I often take big risks and don't realize until I'm in the middle of it that it was even risky in the first place...for example: moving to strange far away places where I don't know anyone.
26. I feel really blessed to live the life I live and to get to spend this time serving God without the distractions of a family.
27. I'll be super duper excited to have a family one day :).
28. I'm pretty insecure and care far too much about what people think of me.
29. On a daily basis, I get to see Jesus make good use of my crappy sins.
30. I really like to learn. I miss school.
31. I may go back to school but I'm not talking about that yet-
32. When I moved to NYC, I didn't realize that parking tickets were for real.
33. At least once a week I get in a verbal fight with a pedestrian or some other driver in NYC- most of the time we are yelling at each other in different languages.
34. I like pizza...a lot.
35. I forget that I'm not actually my nephew's mother...





Past Projects- 


A link to crafts that I've posted about under Writes

Old School Yo

Read at your own risk. And don't tell me if you do...I can't bear to know! Ahhhhhh!!!!

https://meginlea.wordpress.com/