Clarification to the Usefulness Post
It was pointed out to me today that a recent few lines in a post I made could come across as complaining that there are those 'in charge' of me that I can never please regardless how hard I try. I just wanted to clarify b/c I don't want people to get the wrong idea or impression.
I have been a people pleaser most of my life. Even this clarification is probably being written partly out of a sense to please but also out of a sense to make sure no one believes there are 'issues' going on behind the scenes. I simply meant to write an aside to a post about feeling 'useful,' and to convey that when I first came here, I thought of ministry the same way I thought of school work- do what you're supposed to do, study hard, and you get an A which then tells you that you are GREAT and TOTALLY WORTH something. That is how I felt when I received A's...school was an idol to give me worth. So it was a natural progression that ministry (which came after school) become the new idol.
When I spoke of people in charge, I was not targeting one specific person or group but more so thinking of those I work for...which in general is the church I believe. And of course since we are all people with different opinions and perspectives, I quickly realized I couldn't please every person in the church whether they were leaders or laity...yet....I wanted to...and not for all pure reasons, but because there was idolatry in it.
I also grew up in a home where I didn't find much approval for most things I did, even the best of deeds, so my default mode is to believe that people do not approve unless they outright tell me they DO approve. That can be dangerous in most contexts, however, where people DO approve but don't voice it very much or at least not in an equal amount to perhaps voicing suggestions or problems or discrepancies. And I believe most 'work places' or 'churches' are probably like that...it's easy to only voice things that need to be changed but not voice things we appreciate. We treat God that way every day in our prayers-
School was easy b/c I could get grades back on all my work. I hated the classes that didn't GRADE your homework. haha Life is a bit harder.
So in summary- I was trying to share that jobs can be an illusive idols if you are a person who desires approval from others to fill up a void of feeling worth little, if you are a person who doesn't get a whole lot of positive affirmation, and if you are sensitive and take discrepancies, questions, and even minor disagreements as signs of dissatisfaction. AND even if you aren't one of these people, jobs can still be idols, just not as illusive. Probably better than they are illusive, however, because then you are more quick to recognize you've got an idol on your hands. I hope it is more clear now and assuages any concerns/fears/confusions that my previous post created.
When I spoke of people in charge, I was not targeting one specific person or group but more so thinking of those I work for...which in general is the church I believe. And of course since we are all people with different opinions and perspectives, I quickly realized I couldn't please every person in the church whether they were leaders or laity...yet....I wanted to...and not for all pure reasons, but because there was idolatry in it.
I also grew up in a home where I didn't find much approval for most things I did, even the best of deeds, so my default mode is to believe that people do not approve unless they outright tell me they DO approve. That can be dangerous in most contexts, however, where people DO approve but don't voice it very much or at least not in an equal amount to perhaps voicing suggestions or problems or discrepancies. And I believe most 'work places' or 'churches' are probably like that...it's easy to only voice things that need to be changed but not voice things we appreciate. We treat God that way every day in our prayers-
School was easy b/c I could get grades back on all my work. I hated the classes that didn't GRADE your homework. haha Life is a bit harder.
So in summary- I was trying to share that jobs can be an illusive idols if you are a person who desires approval from others to fill up a void of feeling worth little, if you are a person who doesn't get a whole lot of positive affirmation, and if you are sensitive and take discrepancies, questions, and even minor disagreements as signs of dissatisfaction. AND even if you aren't one of these people, jobs can still be idols, just not as illusive. Probably better than they are illusive, however, because then you are more quick to recognize you've got an idol on your hands. I hope it is more clear now and assuages any concerns/fears/confusions that my previous post created.
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