Remember When

What was going through this little mind? I wish I could recall; maybe somewhere, I can.

    So I suppose God decided 5 a.m. was a good time for me to wake up and REMAIN up today. A lot flooded my mind after my 5:00 a.m. bathroom break, and sleeping was not possible. Instead, I prayed through each thing that came to mind. I ended up praying for a student that used to come around b/c all of the sudden I felt intense burden for her. Then I prayed for healing on a lot of childhood hurts as they came to mind, one by one. 

    I've been reading a lot of David Seamands books. He has written a lot of great stuff, and each thing I read that he's written, I feel as if he has written it for ME specifically :). The most recent book I'm reading is called "Putting Away Childish Things." As much as it may sound like a commanding title that heads up a book of calling us out on our acting like brats, it is not. Thus far, it is revealing that many times our attitudes and reactions and personalities toward various things are shaped by childhood memories and experiences that we never fully dealt with or set right. I'd like to share some of my personal ones, but I haven't the time now. A quick example would be if you find yourself constantly defensive, even over ridiculous things, and jumping to your own defense when people comment even if they insist they were not trying to critique you, perhaps you were told you were wrong a lot as a child, especially in cases where you were right. And I don't mean just casually told; I mean in an abusive manner or tremendously heavy manner that felt particularly demeaning to your existence even.

   Some of you may think 'this sounds like pyscho-babble,' but I hope to have time to share some personal stories from my past that I was praying about, understanding, and feeling God's peace and comfort about. Years of feeling completely without a friend in the world to be on your side and like your family was completely against you could actually affect how you relate with others as an adult? Yes, this book would say, if you never came to terms with your childhood and never learned other ways to act and react.

   Did you know that it is a scientific fact that our memories actually store every detail of our lives, we just can't call them ALL to recollection? There are few people in the world who actually can. They are like super memory people. I learned about this on discovery health and then looked it up, and then Seamands mentions it again. So my point is, even if you don't remember things consciously from when you were say... 3 or 4 or 8 or 14, the memory is stored somewhere in your brain, locked away. And although you cannot consciously recall it, that does not mean it does not affect your conscious actions...and you may not even know it's affecting it. The human mind/brain is truly the most magnificent piece of art in the entire universe. How creative God is...and it makes sense!!!! If God is to be able to remember every single person who is and ever was as well as how many hairs are on our heads, then He must have a super memory of some form...and we are made in His image. Sure, our memory is not nearly as grand as His, but perhaps it is much grander than we've ever thought...

more to come...