MeginLea

...I asked God to make me a Saint, and these are the Scars that I have since incurred...
...it is not easy, but it is Good...
(Pic Cred- the talented Christen Smith)

Why In Quietness and Trust? This blog was birthed quietly, long before it was fleshed out here on blogger.com. This blog was birthed in the heart of a young disciple seeking God's will, seeking God...and not knowing where that might lead... scared out of her mind yet filled with passionate faith, expectation, and wonder- a young girl, trusting, at the beginning of an adventurous love story with her God who had saved already and would save her over again, but she had to wait, often in tears and groans and pains, with no voice, ONLY trusting, somehow, God would bring her out.

This blog has become anything but QUIET, although somehow it is still steeped in trust. The world changed in 2020. Truth be told, it changed a long time before 2020, but I suppose we all caught on during 2020 and realized we had to change with it. Christianity and Evangelicalism, or what Christians have let it become is no different. There are so many deconstructionists out there today, preaching, and many of them once the ones who led us in our faith, the Christian celebrity, the singer-songwriter, our mentors, my mentors. They still lead, albeit perhaps they lead many away. I don't blame them. These men and women suffered, REAL scars, and went up against a REAL enemy in a broken and unjust world, and they've come out, guns blazing, at what they have seen!  Abuse in the church! Abusive shepherds! And what's worse, they've had to grapple with the cold-hard facts, that their own broken hearts and wills played a role in all they watched deconstruct around them.

I am these people, as my blog can testify, except, by the GRACE of God, I have not left the faith because....where would I go? Who else has the words of life? Jesus is neither the problem nor is what He has preached; rather, resides in those who are attempting to live out the Kingdom ethic in an 'already-not-yet' world, confusion, disillusionment, indignation, and pain.

Christ, the Lord, has deconstructed my faith, and in His sovereignty, taken the abuses I've endured AND participated in to be used to forge faith, DEEP faith, dare I say REAL faith, true faith, of which I am not worthy and of which I am surely not ashamed.

This faith is not mine just mine. This faith is the faith of the Holy Spirit inside me, enduring, in quietness and trust, until the time when I could decrease enough that His Word might be displayed IN me, LOUDLY, through my life, by what it means that my hope, OUR hope is in Christ alone, not here in this world or in anything we construct. Ask the questions. Feel the pain. Weep over the mistakes. But blame Satan. Blame not God. What Satan has meant for evil, God has purposed for good, and in due time, we will see the redemption of the land that the locusts have eaten; though it tarry, wait for it in faith and in trust, whether quietly or with a loud voice, but wait upon the Lord, and be secure...