A Different Kind of Pain

I wonder if there are statistics that review the percentage of depressed individuals in the Northern US verse the Southern US. For me, at least, I find life up here more depressing, and no I don't just mean b/c of traffic. Bear with me for a second.

While I state that it is more depressing, I don't mean to insult the North actually. Simply, it is more depressing to me because it is more honest about the state of humanity. At least the parts of the South that I was accustomed to presented the majority of individuals I interacted with in a state of life that if representative of the whole meant that the world was not that hard of a place. Sure, there was pain. Some families went through tragedies, and there was always the ghetto part usually a bit South of downtown. South Augusta=Scary. South Macon=Scary. North Macon=pretty. But in general, it was easy to find things that were pretty and people that were chipper and smiling. If something was going to be done, it was going to be done in a way that made someone look great. If you were going to display christmas lights, they were stellar.

But here, in NY, it's different. I see so many people, not just occasionally, but frequently, who are: hurt physically, with expressions displaying they are hurt emotionally, wearing threadbare clothing, begging for money, inebriated, or dressed like prostitutes, or kids with mouths dirtier than anything I've ever heard, or people squashed in filthy apartment buildings like sardines, or people working 14 hour days 7 days a week at little groceries, or in Chinatown: people waking up so early to unload the fish and foods and packing up so late at night, looking like they are barely getting by, walking on filthy streets, buildings practically falling down. And here in Forest Hills, we have some really beautiful houses, but there are intermingled with them those that have been neglected- people with yards piled with junks, doors hanging off the hinges.

A few months back when I flew into NY, I watched out the window and was just amazed at all the high rise apartment buildings, knowing they housed thousands of people. Such a small area, I thought, with so many. There can't be enough space for them all, much less jobs. And I know that this must reflect the state of the world moreso than the clean middle class neighborhoods and shopping centers of Augusta, Ga. I know that the smiles on the faces and the willingness to help and trust strangers in Georgia cannot be reflective of the attitude of the majority of the world. I hear about so much crime here in NYC, and so much of it is crime that I would only hear about occasionally in Augusta. I suppose that's why people move to quiet suburbs in the south, to escape the 'city-life,' but there is some part of me that feels like what is the point of escaping it b/c I will still know in my mind it's there and that it needs help!

I remember studying about incarnational ministry in seminary and undergrad, and maybe that's why I seem to inflict pain upon myself by putting myself in the midst of places that make me overcome with sadness and sympathy and empathy.

Because it's so true: With all this staring me in the face, I can't help but FEEL the pain or the sadness or the fear or frustration or desperation that people feel. It's impossible for me to ignore it, and if you interact with a person at more than just face-value, you find proof of the pain.

I have to be careful lest I air on the side of judging, but I cannot understand people who have money and don't use it to help others! I can't imagine being a rich exec who lives in some penthouse in midtown with a private driver and all that stuff and not giving my money to so many causes and to help people. Yet I do, ever so often, come across some pretty snazzed up people here in Forest Hills who act like they are so much better than everyone and that others are just here to serve them. I see them at the grocery store and watch how they treat the people who bag their groceries, and I just want to scream at them 'you're not as cool as you think you are you know!'

Anyway, I'm just rambling now. I wish I could write eloquently so that I could make my thoughts succinct and beautiful, but I don't have that gift.

I suppose I'll end by saying that I am not naive to the downside or depressing parts of the South. They just look a little different. And, there is poverty everywhere. Like I said, it just looks a bit different or maybe is hidden more. I'm just making general observations about my every day experience working and living in NY verse living in Georgia. I pray that God speeds in redeeming the earth and wiping away tears, but then I pray he tarry b/c I realize so many people walk past me day by day that need to hear the gospel and would respond. God give me strength to pray for your work to be done more.