Let's Be Weak!
Why is it that we people think that it is through the strong that the Lord does great things? Through the ones who are so on fire and strengthened, that the walls are brought down? In actuality, it is through the weakest that He accomplishes His mightiest of feats. When we are most aware of our inability to serve Him, that is the time when He works the most. Of this, I am QUITE convinced.
Six years ago, I eagerly stated that I would follow the Lord for the rest of my life and serve in His ministry for the rest of my life. I was on fire and determined although I had been broken down a lot. God had prepared me, but I was 6 years less wise than I am today... And God did a lot of work I am sure through that girl, but today more than ever I realize that I will ONLY follow God and ONLY remain in ministry through HIS grace. Why am I aware of that? Because I am MORE aware of MYSELF and my HEART and... of... the REALITY of the harsh and broken world in which we live. God has allowed me to have an 'eyes-wide-open' view of it, as my counselor says, and although that is painful, I'm thankful for the view because I think this is how God wants us to be... He doesn't want us to walk around as blind ministers only seeing through some evangelically misconstrued lens. I doubt we can really get into the pits and the trenches and help the suffering when we are so giddy ourselves, living from one momentary high to another, and misunderstanding our own sinfulness or strengths.
In Judges, we come across Gideon, who was one of many that God used to answer the wishy-washy Israelite's prayers after they had forsaken Him but decided they wanted to come back...again. In Sunday school, you learn good things about Gideon, but the fact of the matter is that he is one scared dude of very little faith, and God works mightily through him. Gideon SINFULLY tests God, going RIGHT against the Mosaic Law which says DO NOT test God...and he does this AFTER God has already given him strong signs and promises of His presence, like having the Angel of the Lord speak with him face-to-face. But after God accommodates Gideon's weak faith, geez, does God EVER make him USE that weak faith. He dwindles his fighting men from a whopping 32,000 to a measly 300 who lap water in the manner that dogs lap water. Ummm, I'd say that is humbling. I think the point is, God is showing us that it is not through the strong men who have everything figured out and who have mastered and learned how NOT to suffer that God comes through and saves sinners and comforts the broken. Negative. I think the point is that God uses the weak, like Gideon. He comforts by using the relate"able" people who have come face-to-face with the darkest depths of pain and realizing how little they have when it comes to even making it through day-to-day life. That's the kind of person that God can be most glorified through. If I ever have any doubt of that, I need only to go back to Scripture and read and read to find that this is God's message over and over again. And it makes sense because as I think of who the people are who have most helped me in my times of needs, they are people who have also been through some pretty dark alleys, often walking through them with ONLY God.
The past year has been so tumultuous, and I've had doubts about my presence in ministry, doubts that were strengthened by others who also wondered if I'm a little too weak, but recently I've been overwhelmed with praise to God as I've seen how He's made Himself known through breaking me down to the tiniest pieces that I could become. It's been incredible. I'm even up for doing it again...and again. I'd rather live this way than any other. It just seems more biblical, praise God. And the reason I keep bringing it up is because I am SO excited about it and SO amazed at what I'm learning and understanding and seeing CLEARLY now.
So you won't hear from me for a bit...I'm headed to Georgia to help my sister deliver a baby (a rather large one probably if Franklin's weight is any reflection of what this one's will be). In addition, my dad is having surgery on his hand next week, and last night my mom fell and broke her foot, sprained her other ankle, and sprained her elbow. As my sister said at 4:04 a.m. this morning, 'when it rains, it pours, and it is almost kind of funny at this hour of the night.' ha.
I have a feeling I will be allowing God to use my 2 feet and 2 hands as vessels of physical service the next week, but I pray also some spiritual and emotional service and support will be offered through me as well. When I'm not doing that, I'll be trying to plan my FFN lesson and tea time and respond to various GFC emails because then I'll be back here for a week before heading back down to Georgia again because of a wedding and the aforementioned needs of my family. All that said, blogs won't get to be my priority. :( Sniff. I will miss them, but I will trust that God has other purposes and ministries for me in the time being. (And please don't take offense if I seem MIA to your emails and needs...May is a crazy month).
Until then, my friends, don't resist being broken by God...heck...even ask for it. Don't judge those who seem to be falling apart; God may just be more present with them than you realize. And be sure to not think too highly of yourselves or your ability to serve the Lord...Joshua is quoted as having said that in the last chapter of the book of Joshua. He tells the people of Israel, when they say that they want to follow Yahweh, that: 'but you CANNOT follow Him.' He says this because he knows their hearts and how they continually turn back to themselves and to idols and away from God. The people have a perfect chance to recognize this here, repent, and ask for help from God, help following Him, but they don't. Instead, they just dig their heels into the ground and say 'YES WE CAN! AND WE WILL!' And of course, we find out in the first chapter of the next book (Judges), that...they...failed, miserably, and lost all the ground they'd conquered. Sigh...
We can't follow God on our own peoples. The sooner we figure this out, the better off we are because then we can call on Him to help us. I'll be asking Him to HELP me serve my family this week and to HELP ME serve in GFC when I get back. I certainly can't do it on my own. Honestly, I've realized, I can barely tie my shoes....and man, realizing all this is a good place to be.
Amen!
Oh, and I hope you don't mind belly pictures! The following is of Franklin and Buffie....and I just can't get over how incredibly cute it is :) eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BABY!!!!!!!!! I can't wait....WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
Six years ago, I eagerly stated that I would follow the Lord for the rest of my life and serve in His ministry for the rest of my life. I was on fire and determined although I had been broken down a lot. God had prepared me, but I was 6 years less wise than I am today... And God did a lot of work I am sure through that girl, but today more than ever I realize that I will ONLY follow God and ONLY remain in ministry through HIS grace. Why am I aware of that? Because I am MORE aware of MYSELF and my HEART and... of... the REALITY of the harsh and broken world in which we live. God has allowed me to have an 'eyes-wide-open' view of it, as my counselor says, and although that is painful, I'm thankful for the view because I think this is how God wants us to be... He doesn't want us to walk around as blind ministers only seeing through some evangelically misconstrued lens. I doubt we can really get into the pits and the trenches and help the suffering when we are so giddy ourselves, living from one momentary high to another, and misunderstanding our own sinfulness or strengths.
In Judges, we come across Gideon, who was one of many that God used to answer the wishy-washy Israelite's prayers after they had forsaken Him but decided they wanted to come back...again. In Sunday school, you learn good things about Gideon, but the fact of the matter is that he is one scared dude of very little faith, and God works mightily through him. Gideon SINFULLY tests God, going RIGHT against the Mosaic Law which says DO NOT test God...and he does this AFTER God has already given him strong signs and promises of His presence, like having the Angel of the Lord speak with him face-to-face. But after God accommodates Gideon's weak faith, geez, does God EVER make him USE that weak faith. He dwindles his fighting men from a whopping 32,000 to a measly 300 who lap water in the manner that dogs lap water. Ummm, I'd say that is humbling. I think the point is, God is showing us that it is not through the strong men who have everything figured out and who have mastered and learned how NOT to suffer that God comes through and saves sinners and comforts the broken. Negative. I think the point is that God uses the weak, like Gideon. He comforts by using the relate"able" people who have come face-to-face with the darkest depths of pain and realizing how little they have when it comes to even making it through day-to-day life. That's the kind of person that God can be most glorified through. If I ever have any doubt of that, I need only to go back to Scripture and read and read to find that this is God's message over and over again. And it makes sense because as I think of who the people are who have most helped me in my times of needs, they are people who have also been through some pretty dark alleys, often walking through them with ONLY God.
The past year has been so tumultuous, and I've had doubts about my presence in ministry, doubts that were strengthened by others who also wondered if I'm a little too weak, but recently I've been overwhelmed with praise to God as I've seen how He's made Himself known through breaking me down to the tiniest pieces that I could become. It's been incredible. I'm even up for doing it again...and again. I'd rather live this way than any other. It just seems more biblical, praise God. And the reason I keep bringing it up is because I am SO excited about it and SO amazed at what I'm learning and understanding and seeing CLEARLY now.
So you won't hear from me for a bit...I'm headed to Georgia to help my sister deliver a baby (a rather large one probably if Franklin's weight is any reflection of what this one's will be). In addition, my dad is having surgery on his hand next week, and last night my mom fell and broke her foot, sprained her other ankle, and sprained her elbow. As my sister said at 4:04 a.m. this morning, 'when it rains, it pours, and it is almost kind of funny at this hour of the night.' ha.
I have a feeling I will be allowing God to use my 2 feet and 2 hands as vessels of physical service the next week, but I pray also some spiritual and emotional service and support will be offered through me as well. When I'm not doing that, I'll be trying to plan my FFN lesson and tea time and respond to various GFC emails because then I'll be back here for a week before heading back down to Georgia again because of a wedding and the aforementioned needs of my family. All that said, blogs won't get to be my priority. :( Sniff. I will miss them, but I will trust that God has other purposes and ministries for me in the time being. (And please don't take offense if I seem MIA to your emails and needs...May is a crazy month).
Until then, my friends, don't resist being broken by God...heck...even ask for it. Don't judge those who seem to be falling apart; God may just be more present with them than you realize. And be sure to not think too highly of yourselves or your ability to serve the Lord...Joshua is quoted as having said that in the last chapter of the book of Joshua. He tells the people of Israel, when they say that they want to follow Yahweh, that: 'but you CANNOT follow Him.' He says this because he knows their hearts and how they continually turn back to themselves and to idols and away from God. The people have a perfect chance to recognize this here, repent, and ask for help from God, help following Him, but they don't. Instead, they just dig their heels into the ground and say 'YES WE CAN! AND WE WILL!' And of course, we find out in the first chapter of the next book (Judges), that...they...failed, miserably, and lost all the ground they'd conquered. Sigh...
We can't follow God on our own peoples. The sooner we figure this out, the better off we are because then we can call on Him to help us. I'll be asking Him to HELP me serve my family this week and to HELP ME serve in GFC when I get back. I certainly can't do it on my own. Honestly, I've realized, I can barely tie my shoes....and man, realizing all this is a good place to be.
Amen!
Oh, and I hope you don't mind belly pictures! The following is of Franklin and Buffie....and I just can't get over how incredibly cute it is :) eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee BABY!!!!!!!!! I can't wait....WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!
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