Eviction Notice

Dear Sinus Headache Tenant,

You make my life unbearable, and you certainly did not ask my permission before moving you. You neither pay rent nor clean up behind yourself. What's more, the only time you don't hurt me is when I lay down, but I'm getting incredibly bored with laying down, and there are things I have to do such as go to church and dinners and prepare/present lessons, etc. When I take the medicine that is sold to me under the pretense as to evict tenants like yourself, you are temporarily relieved, but then I feel drunk and stumble when I walk. The trade-off is not fair. So I have thought long and hard about this and decided that I must ask you to leave. I know you enjoy residing in me, in my head, my face, and my forehead to be exact. Jesse likes my face, as do Franklin and Libby, so I suppose this is why you are here too, but I must bid you farewell. You can take the mucinex and sudafed with you. Travel South. I hear it's nice this time of year. I'll have to keep your security deposit, however, to cover the cost of the gingerale and OTC cold medicines I've purchased. Oh wait, you never left a security deposit. You were a simple squatter all along. Be Gone.

Sincerely,
A Very Annoyed Landlord.