Let's Be Honest: Wound Healing 1
Lie: I must prove my worth in order to gain love. Ex: I must be pretty enough. I must perform well enough. I must be envied enough. I must be looked up to. I must please those whose love I want. I must be like the other people who ARE loved. I must BECOME something and then I will BE loved.
Truth: These things will NOT make me lovable:
being thin enough
being funny enough
being pretty enough
being 'sweet' enough
being quiet enough
being smart enough
being witty enough
being helpful enough
being right
being envied or enviable
pleasing Pastor Albert
pleasing the GFC board
pleasing my sister
changing my dad
pleasing my dad
being treated by dad the same way he treats my brother or sister
making good grades
recruiting enough students
supplying enough 'fruit'
spending less money
spending the least amount of money
being clean enough
pleasing those i serve
pleasing people around me, everyone
being the favorite
being the best at whatever it is i am pursuing
not making people mad
living up to the standard of old boyfriends who said i wasn't good enough for them
being beyond the critique of jesse or gfc people
Sadly: 28 years has been spent focusing on one or more of these things or things not listed in order to be loved because most everyone around me for 28 years did not demonstrate real love.
Sovereignly: God allowed this because, in a broken world, my experience is NOT unlike SO MANY others' experiences. Through visiting this experience and healing from it and SHARING it, there will come the salvation of many.
Ironically: Love is not based on any of the things I worked for in the list above BECAUSE love is not at ALL about the object of love. Rather, love is all about the one doing the loving....the LOVER not the LOVEE.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is:
PATIENT
KIND
NOT arrogant
NOT rude
NOT insisting on its OWN way
NOT irritable or resentful
NOT rejoicing at wrong
REJOICING WITH the truth
BEARING all things
HOPING all things
ENDURING all things
Love NEVER ENDS.
This means, I don't have to be good enough or perform enough because LOVE IS PATIENT. I don't have to merit kindness or love because LOVE IS KIND. I don't have to BE another way. Love is NOT ARROGANT, RUDE, AND INSISTING ON IT'S OWN WAY. Love won't belittle or shame or abuse or degrade me. Love won't make me do things to myself that are wrong. Love won't make me starve. Love won't make me have sex, especially not when I am a child. Love won't make me drink or lie or waste money. Love won't blame me and manipulate me. Love will only rejoice at the TRUTH. Love will want my growth in the Lord and my honest self. Love will bear with me WHEN I am wrong (not if but when) because I am a sinner like all people. Love will HOPE for me when the world says I am beyond hope. It will patiently ENDURE with me through my pain or when I hurt it. LOVE WON'T BREAK UP WITH ME OR LEAVE ME OR CHANGE ITS MIND ON ME BECAUSE LOVE NEVER ENDS.
The past 28 years, I was LOVABLE AS I WAS. Today, I AM LOVABLE AS I AM. Whoever did not love me, the fault was/is theirs...not mine. They looked at feeling to determine their love and were swayed by it...they did not define love as it IS. Because Love Never Ends. You don't have to 'keep' love. Real Love Lasts Always.
Praise God
Amen.
Truth: These things will NOT make me lovable:
being thin enough
being funny enough
being pretty enough
being 'sweet' enough
being quiet enough
being smart enough
being witty enough
being helpful enough
being right
being envied or enviable
pleasing Pastor Albert
pleasing the GFC board
pleasing my sister
changing my dad
pleasing my dad
being treated by dad the same way he treats my brother or sister
making good grades
recruiting enough students
supplying enough 'fruit'
spending less money
spending the least amount of money
being clean enough
pleasing those i serve
pleasing people around me, everyone
being the favorite
being the best at whatever it is i am pursuing
not making people mad
living up to the standard of old boyfriends who said i wasn't good enough for them
being beyond the critique of jesse or gfc people
Sadly: 28 years has been spent focusing on one or more of these things or things not listed in order to be loved because most everyone around me for 28 years did not demonstrate real love.
Sovereignly: God allowed this because, in a broken world, my experience is NOT unlike SO MANY others' experiences. Through visiting this experience and healing from it and SHARING it, there will come the salvation of many.
Ironically: Love is not based on any of the things I worked for in the list above BECAUSE love is not at ALL about the object of love. Rather, love is all about the one doing the loving....the LOVER not the LOVEE.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is:
PATIENT
KIND
NOT arrogant
NOT rude
NOT insisting on its OWN way
NOT irritable or resentful
NOT rejoicing at wrong
REJOICING WITH the truth
BEARING all things
HOPING all things
ENDURING all things
Love NEVER ENDS.
This means, I don't have to be good enough or perform enough because LOVE IS PATIENT. I don't have to merit kindness or love because LOVE IS KIND. I don't have to BE another way. Love is NOT ARROGANT, RUDE, AND INSISTING ON IT'S OWN WAY. Love won't belittle or shame or abuse or degrade me. Love won't make me do things to myself that are wrong. Love won't make me starve. Love won't make me have sex, especially not when I am a child. Love won't make me drink or lie or waste money. Love won't blame me and manipulate me. Love will only rejoice at the TRUTH. Love will want my growth in the Lord and my honest self. Love will bear with me WHEN I am wrong (not if but when) because I am a sinner like all people. Love will HOPE for me when the world says I am beyond hope. It will patiently ENDURE with me through my pain or when I hurt it. LOVE WON'T BREAK UP WITH ME OR LEAVE ME OR CHANGE ITS MIND ON ME BECAUSE LOVE NEVER ENDS.
The past 28 years, I was LOVABLE AS I WAS. Today, I AM LOVABLE AS I AM. Whoever did not love me, the fault was/is theirs...not mine. They looked at feeling to determine their love and were swayed by it...they did not define love as it IS. Because Love Never Ends. You don't have to 'keep' love. Real Love Lasts Always.
Praise God
Amen.
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