Tough Luck.

Had a sad January day, and I didn't get much accomplished even though I had big plans for today. None of them really got done. Tomorrow is a busy day, and right now I'm feeling apprehensive that I can't/don't want to do it. I miss Franklin a lot tonight. I also miss being able to talk to Jesse. It's been about a week since we had any type of conversation other than a line email I got two days ago. He hasn't had internet, and he's pretty busy over there. This is the first time since March of 2008 that I haven't been talking to Jesse nearly each day and getting to have real conversations with him. I do not feel 'dependent' upon him, but I surely miss that companionship. I'm also starting to feel some (perhaps sinful) feelings rising up inside me of anger b/c I'm hearing thoughts in my head that go something like this: "he doesn't miss you or talking with you. he's just having fun. it's all dandy for him." I'm having to remind myself that these thoughts are probably lies. I sure hope they are lies that my head is making up...or else, that would be sad.

There is a lot of ministry potential on the horizon right now...potential that typically excites me and fills me with energy so much so that I'm bubbling over. But sad January is making me not excited about the potential and wanting to just sleep. I'm in the word and praying just like always. So I trust that God will carry me through. Please pray for me. I surely don't like feeling this way and wish I could just 'kick' it.

I'm also having a hard time thinking about exciting things coming up b/c if I think about them I just get stressed out about the things that should be done. So yeah- it's kinda rough feelings/thoughts at the Megin house right now.