My Twenties

As I sat out on my (aka the L.L's) front stoop this morning, drinking my coffee and breathing in the smell of NYC Summer (also known as hot-humid-garbage-smell), I reflected on my last 10 years, and came up with a pretty fulfilling list about why I am completely fine with embracing the climax of my 30th year this coming October. Between now and the 15th of October 2012, I plan to add to this list.

The following is composed of "things" that help me feel as if I have tackled a decade. Cheers to my 20's:

1. I traveled to a few different countries and stayed for longer than a month.
2. I lived in 3 of the 3 places I told myself I wanted to live or at least visit after I graduated college.
3. I made strong friendships that haven't changed just because my location has.
4. I moved to two cities, completely alone, and set out on learning how to be an adult.
5. I learned that my parents were wrong about a lot more things that I used to think they were, and, as well, started learning that they were right about a lot more things than I used to think they were. (I haven't come as far on this second clause. I figure more of that happens in my 30's).
6. I loved hard and suffered heart break that I never fully got over. 
7. I discovered that it is possible to drink alcohol without over-indulging.
8. I moved 8 times in 8 years, 3 of which were without the assistance of family and friends.
9. I paid enough in rent to have put a sizable down payment on a nice one-family home.
10. I became best friends with someone I once thought I'd never be able to tolerate, (my little brother).
11. I had a six-pack for a few Summers, lost it, and became okay with that.
12. I met and embraced true self-less love for the first time.
13. I forgave childhood arch-nemesis and was fine with it.
14. I stuck it out through hardship with commitments that I would have liked to have turned back on at the time.
15. I kept myself in a relationship with Jesse even though it didn't/doesn't always bring me 100% happiness and fulfillment because I have learned that is not the point of a 'romantic' relationship in the first place.
16. I learned my stance on hot-bed issues like abortion and homosexuality while also figuring out how to remain un-threatened and interwoven with individuals whose beliefs don't match up with my own.
17. I found some great therapy and got myself tied down deep into it.
18. I got involved in politics, or at least, took a meaningful interest.
19. I understood the Gospel for the first time.
20. I mothered (pets). 
21. I became Presbyterian and argumentatively proud of it.
22. I discovered my own sense of style that I would be happy with even if it didn't change with the times.
23. I seriously contemplated how different my youth would have been if the advent of electronic and internet media had been introduced sooner and decided that I am quite happy that it was not.
24. I accepted a job that I had no idea how to do and managed to make my way through even though it was harder than I ever could have anticipated. (P.S. Upon accepting said job, I thought I DID know how to do it. I realized that I didn't later).
25. I realized it is okay to leave something and be misunderstood, and that I really DON'T have to have everyone think highly of me.
26. I realized a great outfit is NOT made from combining every shade of pink and hello kitty. (WGC, you'll appreciate this one).
27. I did some things I REALLY regret and had to be humble enough to ask for forgiveness and accept it even when I really hated myself.
28. I overcame acne, er...well, just waited it out...for 15 years. 
29. I developed a rather sufficient addiction to coffee.
30. I had a semi-major surgery and realized just how fragile the human body really is.
31. I coped with the death of peers who were far too young to die.
32. I sunk into various deep depressions and hung on when I really did not think I would be able to continue.
33. I took complete control over my hair and forced it to do some rather ridiculous things, only to finally accept my natural color and texture. 
34. I realized I have a lot of  #%&*  left to work out, and that although that can be depressing, at 20, I didn't even know I had said #%&*.
35. I earned both a bachelors and a masters degree.
36. I learned that although I earned aforementioned degrees, I still lack the vocabulary to accurately describe the filth of things sometimes without using an expletive.
37. I was a bridesmaid more than once and wore a truly hideous ensemble to delight another human being.
38. I partook in one of the 'standards' set for me by culture by getting married and became completely good with the fact that I didn't live up to more of the standards before 30. 
39. I embraced becoming 30 without feeling like it was a death sentence.

I suppose something I realize is that although the last 10 years have felt a combination of crazy, pointless, endless, hopeless, exciting, and a million other adjectives that I can't think of at the moment, they were really quite enjoyable and adventurous. I hope my 30's isn't boring. I hope there is adventure left, lots of it, and that it mystifies me. I don't want to be finished 'living' because I'm just starting to realize that life is not about where I arrive and what I accomplish but about everything that happens along the way... 

This list is incomplete. Many things have been done yet not recorded, but if you can think of something else I REALLY should have done in my 20's and that I may not have done, please tell me. I can try to squeeze it in before October 15th.