Contemplation....An Introspective Evening:

...Just read through my diary of my entire 7th grade year of middle school. Thought provoking- enlightening!! My mind is filled with so many millions of things I would do my best to try to help that precious, and somewhat precocious, 13-year-old MeginLea understand, (although based on the diary's testimony of her intense tendency toward making her own path to her goal succeed, I doubt she would have comprehended... heeded... or accepted as a route to joy or to God. No route contrary to her current opinions during aforementioned time could ever be reliable, of course). 


Nonetheless, there are many things that little girl never knew or heard, things which I sincerely think and hope every young woman at 13 (or around that age) hears.... over and over again... and possibly begins to comprehend. I am pretty sure that this conviction is one major driving passion behind my enjoyment of the current ministry God has me in. 

ANYWAY- this was a very interesting way to spend an evening. You wouldn't BELIEVE the things we forget...things that, while 'trivial' now, were VERY important then it appears, and things by which I am quite sure many young people are immensely shaped. As adults, we tend to think that we are 'in control' of our behaviors, thoughts, opinions, insecurities, confidences, and everything else. Truth be told, I think we all operate in a lot of patterns that are first forged in our formative years, perhaps even the entire span of our teens through our 30's. And that's just it...I've only lived 31 years! Lord willing, so many more years are to come... with so many more challenging and life altering experiences. This must be why I've always found older, especially elderly, Godly women so wise. It is the sincere desire of my heart to grow into one of those women one day, so secure and in love with Christ, and so able humbly to set myself aside for the sake of Him and His passions... and then perhaps to think back on the fact that maybe it all started with a 13-year-old, writing in hot pink pen, in her Lion King diary, filling it with pages about crushes and which girl was betraying which girl, which boy was cute, and which boy was 'soooo last week's news,' and how my family seemed to be on the brink of utter failure, and how it hurt, or how I HAD TO HAVE God answer whatever current prayer I had, and how I KNEW he would b/c of whatever bible verse of the week I was interpreting and claiming as a promise that God was truly my genie in a bottle- so self absorbed- so young- with so much more in common with the modern-day teens than I think I've realized probably... and while innocently misguided, though culpable of said misguidance, I was one who was so COMPLETELY SEEN and LOVED and UNDERSTOOD and... what's more .... GUIDED by my true Father, Creator, Potter, and Lover- my great and true High Priest who also lived with a human body...and a teenage mind... and I, this girl, as revealed in my diary to understand little about this God, WAS one for whom and by whom, in reality, this great God of the Universe, cherished and watched over with a purpose in mind...a purpose for HIS glory...and...for...my...her...good.