Forty.4.40. Number 38. Christians who don't know Christ
As I was reflecting on how to begin this post, I realized my title doesn't make any sense. We aren't Christians if we are not believers in and follows of Jesus Christ.
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Demonstrative fruit evident in a person's life is the only means through which we people can know the heart of a person and whether or not it is devoted to Christ. Google tells me that only 26% of professing Christians go to church once a week or more. I'm sure there are better stats to find, but the point that I make is that a person cannot be spiritually assessed based upon attendance at church. The way we act in "the world," the place we live the rest of our lives, that matters... dare I say even that it matters more?
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I lost my October housing today. The entire situation is beyond frustrating because it involves a potential roommate who wanted to live with me because I was Christian (aka safe, in her mind at least), but she changed her mind, based upon my "situation." The funny thing is, she wasn't even the actual owner of the space we would live. She was being allowed to stay their by a generous Christian host who invited me to stay as well BECAUSE of my situation. Since this roommate had been invited first, the host let her decide whether or not she'd accept me as a housemate though. So we talked for a few weeks and then met up. I was politely turned down this morning... the specifics of my reality are too much for her.
Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.- James 1:27
I thought about this verse in Scripture so much as a child. It meant something to me that evangelism and "winning souls" involved entering into their real lives and offering sustenance. I'd spent 14 years in church needing people to intervene to assist my family when I was a child. I knew the consequences of a put-on faith. "Christians" in the South are part of the reason I left the South.
There are countless scriptural examples of how followers of Christ are exhorted not to take advantage of the marginalized. There are examples in the Hebrew Bible/Old Testament too that demonstrate God blessing a people that they become a blessing and were being grafted into those who would serve God, regardless of tribe or nation. Arguably, Christianity brought honor to the shamed in multiple contexts. We are exhorted to remember that what we do to the little ones (mirco people), in the name of Christ, is like doing for Christ. The least of these brethren, how do we treat them? The person who needs a home or help because of systemic issues of abuse in the world and at home which have led to complete familial breakdown and the perpetuating of injustice, this is who Christ would help. This is who Christ would room with.
If we let the theme of the Gospel play out in our minds. The children are not ones Christ would cast out, and especially not the women who were forsaken or vulnerable, not any of the vulnerable, regardless of race, ethnicity, religion, social class, sexual orientation, or gender. We are speaking about the heart of God here. This is serious business, so let's be clear. God cares about those people who are being spat upon and belittled and cast out. God pursues those hearts. God does not lose one.
These are descriptions of people who have helped me:
A Jewish friend from childhood who I used to attempt to convert to Christianity even though she asked me not to.
A person who is not heterosexual.
A person who practices Buddhist/Eastern Religions and works for the safe use of psychedelics in mental health areas.
Multiple people from a church where my family caused a lot of damage.
A pastor who would be right to feel deceived by my family.
A person whose family was hurt by decisions our leadership made when we were leading.
Family as well as close friends that I have cost much money, or my family in general, because of my own mistakes and those of others.
Friends who've had to walk the fine line of support for two people that for whatever reason are still unable to sit in the same room and have a cordial conversation even though they share a deep love for two children.
These are Examples of people who haven't helped me.
People who don't care. (That's obvious enough).
A person who self-identified as a Christian but admitted, proudly, to me that she avoided anyone pro-choice, homosexual, or in a messy family situation. #standards.
I don't write this to complain. I'm glad I won't be living with this person, and I don't assume her the norm of Christians that I come into contact with these days, thank God. I also don't believe I will spend one night without a roof over my head. God has given me too many people who love me, so that's not why I write this either. It's no dramatic plea, (although if you have potential solutions for a 3.5 week gap in sublets/places to stay, don't hesitate to let me know).
Today's 40of40 is to thank God that I'm messy but that He always provides exactly the right thing at the right time, and saves me from those who would only hurt me. So many of the closed doors are blessings.
Though I've got to find a new place to stay, today is better for me than all those years I worked so hard to be spotless. I had a roof over my head and money in the bank, but I was drained to the dregs of performance. I was numb those years. I couldn't love. Empathy was rarely free, and when it was, it was like stepping back into my body for the first time in ages. That life was miserable, and we were all getting worse and wasting away. It was as if we lived a life all about God and knew God not. #confessionsofexpastorswife
Today, there is so much more hope. I have seen God work a lot of personal miracles for us already, for me. I have watched God work in my heart and mind and refocus and reorient me. I have stepped back into myself again, found myself, and been ushered into a season of extreme congruence and integrity. I no longer waiver between. I know what I believe. That, to me, seems more descriptive of a life of a follower of Christ, a life transformed, a person more humble and able to live, a person more able to give grace, a person more faithful. I have less fear.
Sadly, the young woman I met, who is afraid of certain portions of women's health care, is the norm of what a Christian thinks and acts like in the minds of many people. And these aren't just ignorant stereotypes; they are opinions based upon experience. "Christians! With all those Christian standards! And all that judgment, constantly sizing each other up. How is a person to measure up peacably? Too bad there isn't something that could make salvation not based upon my works. Wouldn't that be Good News?"
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