Chronicles/Preamble; A South Carolina Conversion Story

 I have always shopped at Walmart, and I made it work out. “Do they sell it at the Walmart? If not, then why do we need it?” I became a pretentious pig, in a way, after all those years up north. The theme of my book is all over the place. How New York City and the Asian-American Christian church killed a Southern girl’s spirit. “You were always my dog, a tale of love gained and lost.” How to make an idol out of God and still miss him completely. The way to get everything you think you want by doing nothing you want to do, and BEST OF ALL: “How NOT to be in Ministry, a girl’s guide.” I can tell the story. I can’t right the wrongs, but I can tell you all I learned about them!

Truth is, all I really know how to do is be in this moment, and express it, while I eat my salad, and then head down to put the giant shiny star on the tree with my son and daughter. God is so sovereign. I literally have everything I would need here at my fingertips even though this is the most unplanned and unpredictable Christmas I’ve had since 2006, and people who are supporting me right now are not necessarily those for whom I can do anything. Thank you Jesse for letting me be first finally, although obviously I forced your hand with this one by staging my own interventions and spilling our truth everywhere, but I couldn’t survive waiting for you to speak anymore. I feel like I’ve been waiting since I introduced myself in the GFC basement in 2008. “Hi. I’m Megin,” -I hold my hand out, and pause… and wait, and wait. And finally,

“Hi.” -from Jesse.

Good thing I already knew his name. I’m not even sure if he shook my hand. I guess so?

But here we are guys, in the present, living it, not knowing what will happen tomorrow, and that’s okay. We’ve got two beautiful kids, and there is church happening at 65 Chrystie these days, real church. Not too sure about that pastor and his wife though, what went down with them.

“Ah, they’ll be alright.” -random person one

“How do you know? Look at that mess!” -random person two,

“You know how I know? Watch and see; my God is able. Your God is too. Snap out of it. His way is through the deep waters, and his footprints unseen, but He is always here.” -random person one, my core personality, the one who knows her God.

Because one can serve God, be humble, be vulnerable, and still be a liar. It’s called holding back, not telling the whole truth. Confessing in part, but not the whole. And I don’t mean the specifics of all details to everyone. I mean where it counts, to whom it concerns, to whom you have told otherwise. Godliness will cost you everything and give you the one thing you ever needed in the first place, your relationship with Jesus.

At our wedding, the pastor preached about a couple who were fraudulent and held back from the Lord. They died. “Don’t be like them,” was the message. I remember well. And I took it to heart. I feel like we were on our way. I really couldn’t wait to get off that road. The one we’re on now is all dirt though, no pavement. I suppose I don’t mind it because if I look close enough, I can almost see His footprints. It’s good to be back, God. I’ve missed you.