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The first day of the 2011-2012 school year was pretty good. We have 21 students enrolled. I think we may change the time of the CC since most of our students are coming from uptown and are arriving later now. Many high schoolers stopped by today as well, not all, but some. I'm excited to see what more stop by in the future. It's really great to have their own little space upstairs, although I must say I was jealous of Jesse's job today and wanted to switch. While I ran around registering new kids, taking money, trying to speak very slow English to parents who didn't speak English, answering questions from teachers, and directing new students/teachers to floors, Jesse sat on a nice couch in the loft with some h.s. boys and played ps3. High school ministry seemed more pleasing to my eye for today at least. Although, Jesse had to lead all the sermons on the retreat while I sat back and just listened. High school ministry didn't seem more pleasing then :).
So a bit of annoyance/discouraging words that came my way today.....(Dana please stop reading now lest I never convince you to take my job).
A high school student that we will call Suzy (not real name) stopped by today to talk about her first day of school and do some homework. Also another of our old students who is going to another program (we will call her Ann) stopped by. This conversation ensued.
Suzy: You know I'm not comin' here anymore. I'm just stopping by.
Me: Yeah that's fine. You can stop by whenever you want. Ann, are you coming?
Ann: No, I enrolled at another church with some of my good friends.
Suzy: Yeah! High five! Everyone's ditching to go to another place
(Suzy and Ann High Five)
Suzy: What's the name of the church?
Ann: It's __________ (I won't say the real name, but you can put together any conglomeration of random letters and it is bound to be a name of a Chinese church somewhere in the 4 boroughs or Jersey)
Suzy: I think I might try that church. I'd like to go there instead.
Me: Yeah, I've heard great things about them.
So yeah, even though I acted nonchalant, these are the thoughts that went through my head:
1. If you are so excited about 'ditching' us as you say, then why the HECK did you come here today??? Huh???
2. DON'T YOU HAVE ANY APPRECIATION FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES SO MANY PEOPLE HERE HAVE MADE FOR YOU THE PAST YEARS???!?! WHERE IS YOUR LOYALTY OR THANKFULNESS?!?!?
Sigh. Now I certainly don't find myself feeling competition with any church. I mean, I'm more than happy that Ann has found friends at a new place and that she fits in so. I'm very sad to see her less, but I trust her spiritual growth there. What I don't appreciate, however, is what seemed like blatant cruelty or TRYING to push my buttons coming from the other student or how they wanted to 'high five.' What's up with that? I just find it rude. Hmph. I guess I shouldn't take offense especially because of their young age....plus, I can preach to myself all the stuff about who I really serve....THEM or God? It should be the latter. But I can at least take comfort in the fact that their disrespect (if intentional at least) does not please God.
My mother most certainly did not keep a record of all the heinous things I said and did to her during my pre-teen and teenage years. She must have been a more loving and mature person than I am currently because I would like to keep record of each of the bratty things that current teens and pre-teens I love are doing. I would then like to read the list back to them as they start to mature so that they could apologize and stroke my bruised ego. I'm quite sure this is an ungodly idea. It is much better to bury each cruel action in a deep grave covered with the love of Jesus that asks for their forgiveness because they know not what they do.
And in all honesty, they do not FULLY know what they do. Even if some of their 'brattiness' in intentional, I highly doubt they REALLY get it. They are confused and fumbling through what appear to them as uncharted waters of emotion and hormonal dysfunction. That's just the thing though, I'm trying to supply them with a map...they just can't seem to accept it...to believe that there are those who understand and whose answers really are the truth.
And I guess that's how we are to God. He's tried to provide us a map of His word...but we just don't seem to 'get' that it really is the way, the truth, and the life.
I guess if Suzy or Ann come tomorrow, I will be kind to them and not ask them why they aren't 'ditching.' I might, however, find a way to make sure they eat last at dinner.
Ok fine, I won't even do that. I'll continue to feed and love them and clothe them with all the support we can provide...and pray they will stop taking it as deserved and expected, a right and not a privilege, something owed them and not God's blessing.
Maybe these kids are more a reflection of myself than I realize. Now that thought just pisses me off.
So a bit of annoyance/discouraging words that came my way today.....(Dana please stop reading now lest I never convince you to take my job).
A high school student that we will call Suzy (not real name) stopped by today to talk about her first day of school and do some homework. Also another of our old students who is going to another program (we will call her Ann) stopped by. This conversation ensued.
Suzy: You know I'm not comin' here anymore. I'm just stopping by.
Me: Yeah that's fine. You can stop by whenever you want. Ann, are you coming?
Ann: No, I enrolled at another church with some of my good friends.
Suzy: Yeah! High five! Everyone's ditching to go to another place
(Suzy and Ann High Five)
Suzy: What's the name of the church?
Ann: It's __________ (I won't say the real name, but you can put together any conglomeration of random letters and it is bound to be a name of a Chinese church somewhere in the 4 boroughs or Jersey)
Suzy: I think I might try that church. I'd like to go there instead.
Me: Yeah, I've heard great things about them.
So yeah, even though I acted nonchalant, these are the thoughts that went through my head:
1. If you are so excited about 'ditching' us as you say, then why the HECK did you come here today??? Huh???
2. DON'T YOU HAVE ANY APPRECIATION FOR ALL THE SACRIFICES SO MANY PEOPLE HERE HAVE MADE FOR YOU THE PAST YEARS???!?! WHERE IS YOUR LOYALTY OR THANKFULNESS?!?!?
Sigh. Now I certainly don't find myself feeling competition with any church. I mean, I'm more than happy that Ann has found friends at a new place and that she fits in so. I'm very sad to see her less, but I trust her spiritual growth there. What I don't appreciate, however, is what seemed like blatant cruelty or TRYING to push my buttons coming from the other student or how they wanted to 'high five.' What's up with that? I just find it rude. Hmph. I guess I shouldn't take offense especially because of their young age....plus, I can preach to myself all the stuff about who I really serve....THEM or God? It should be the latter. But I can at least take comfort in the fact that their disrespect (if intentional at least) does not please God.
My mother most certainly did not keep a record of all the heinous things I said and did to her during my pre-teen and teenage years. She must have been a more loving and mature person than I am currently because I would like to keep record of each of the bratty things that current teens and pre-teens I love are doing. I would then like to read the list back to them as they start to mature so that they could apologize and stroke my bruised ego. I'm quite sure this is an ungodly idea. It is much better to bury each cruel action in a deep grave covered with the love of Jesus that asks for their forgiveness because they know not what they do.
And in all honesty, they do not FULLY know what they do. Even if some of their 'brattiness' in intentional, I highly doubt they REALLY get it. They are confused and fumbling through what appear to them as uncharted waters of emotion and hormonal dysfunction. That's just the thing though, I'm trying to supply them with a map...they just can't seem to accept it...to believe that there are those who understand and whose answers really are the truth.
And I guess that's how we are to God. He's tried to provide us a map of His word...but we just don't seem to 'get' that it really is the way, the truth, and the life.
I guess if Suzy or Ann come tomorrow, I will be kind to them and not ask them why they aren't 'ditching.' I might, however, find a way to make sure they eat last at dinner.
Ok fine, I won't even do that. I'll continue to feed and love them and clothe them with all the support we can provide...and pray they will stop taking it as deserved and expected, a right and not a privilege, something owed them and not God's blessing.
Maybe these kids are more a reflection of myself than I realize. Now that thought just pisses me off.
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