Welcome to my first post. I used to have a xanga, but apparently 'blogspot' is the NYC th'a'ng, and since I am a fan of the cultural contextualization of the Gospel of Christ as well as Christians, I figured I would 'contextualize' myself to the New York custom. Find me on the subway, and I'll ignore you after I aggresively knock you down. Wait...maybe that isn't the kind of contextualization Hudson Taylor and the floods to follow him had in mind... oh wells :)!
So I won't recap the past few months. That would be ridiculous...perhaps interesting for you, but kinda boring for me since I already know everything that happened (side note: the actual correct grammatical spelling for that word is 'all ready.' Already is, technically, slang...but when I write "all ready," people think I am spelling it wrong and stupid. I suppose I shouldn't care what others think).
Anyway, I will just dive into the most recent lesson that I have been learning. I mean, I've learned this lesson countless times, but somehow I always seem to think I can be 'off guard.' The lesson: Sin is real; sin is deceitful, and sin robs us of communion with God.
I suppose to explain accurately and exactly what I mean, I must first say that since moving to NYC, I have daily, despite external circumstance, been overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for bringing me to this place, and by place I do not just mean 'physical' place, but spiritual, mental, emotional, etc. God has been so faithful and so good through a hard couple of years... I have seen God's hand here in NYC in a way that I have not been able to see His hand since first going to China in 2003. Sometimes when we are in those kind of places- states of mind- we (me at least) can forget that we are so vulnerable to our flesh and that Romans chapter 7 is still very much a part of our every day 'already not yet' existence on earth.
I found myself praying this afternoon, after reading over a journal entry from about 1.5 months ago, and asking God if I was losing my confidence in His control over things. I suppose I will just say that a few things have happened recently which have caused me to question whether or not I have actually been trying to control things in my life...or at least, a few things have happened which have caused me to doubt God's faithful provision and control and guidance.
As I sat up here on the 3rd floor of the church this evening, I began praying. I've been praying about this specifically for about a week or so now, but all of the sudden it hit me: There have been two things recent in my life to which I have experienced God speaking directly yet I have been a little 'easy' on myself. I really don't want to go into too much detail since this is completely public, but I would say that I have been struggling with a specific thing that is 'sin to me' (perhaps not to you) and with allowing my thoughts to go somewhere from which God has asked me to keep them completely away. I rationalized the 'sin and the thoughts' for a bit... the sin was really not that big of a deal... and the wandering thoughts....well, perhaps, could they not be God taking my mind there?? Yes, God was TAKING my mind there. (That was me talking to myself btw). Nonetheless, in evaluation and reflection and prayer tonight, I realized that when the sin was not being acted upon and when the thought was not being yielded to, there was much more joy and confidence in God in my daily life, and...subsequently, there was probably much more ministry!
Oswald Chambers always said that if you feel distant from God, look no further than at your own reflection and figure out where you need to obey but have not been obeying. What a smart man. Lord Jesus, I seek to obey you, at all costs, regardless of what I do or do not understand. I believe in your goodness and your faithfulness. I will trust You and Your truth, not my own emotions or thought processes. Have this heart and life- they were never mine to begin with.
Oswald Chambers also said that for those of us called to be disciples of Christ, the one thing upon which we must keep a leash is our relationship to God. Keep that pure and free from stain- God controls all things, but asks us to take the responsibility of seeking His kingdom first.
So, in conclusion, I will say that Oswald Chambers was certainly a smart man. He made two blanket statements years ago that are completely applicable to my life right now. I will also say that, of course, we know that any wisdom he had came from the Father of Lights...for Oswald Chambers was just like me, just like you, a person, made from dust, and struggling through the 'do's and do not's' of Romans 7.
Praise the name of Jesus...He's my rock. He's my fortress. He's my deliver - in Him do I trust! Praise the name of Jesus...
So I won't recap the past few months. That would be ridiculous...perhaps interesting for you, but kinda boring for me since I already know everything that happened (side note: the actual correct grammatical spelling for that word is 'all ready.' Already is, technically, slang...but when I write "all ready," people think I am spelling it wrong and stupid. I suppose I shouldn't care what others think).
Anyway, I will just dive into the most recent lesson that I have been learning. I mean, I've learned this lesson countless times, but somehow I always seem to think I can be 'off guard.' The lesson: Sin is real; sin is deceitful, and sin robs us of communion with God.
I suppose to explain accurately and exactly what I mean, I must first say that since moving to NYC, I have daily, despite external circumstance, been overwhelmed with thankfulness to God for bringing me to this place, and by place I do not just mean 'physical' place, but spiritual, mental, emotional, etc. God has been so faithful and so good through a hard couple of years... I have seen God's hand here in NYC in a way that I have not been able to see His hand since first going to China in 2003. Sometimes when we are in those kind of places- states of mind- we (me at least) can forget that we are so vulnerable to our flesh and that Romans chapter 7 is still very much a part of our every day 'already not yet' existence on earth.
I found myself praying this afternoon, after reading over a journal entry from about 1.5 months ago, and asking God if I was losing my confidence in His control over things. I suppose I will just say that a few things have happened recently which have caused me to question whether or not I have actually been trying to control things in my life...or at least, a few things have happened which have caused me to doubt God's faithful provision and control and guidance.
As I sat up here on the 3rd floor of the church this evening, I began praying. I've been praying about this specifically for about a week or so now, but all of the sudden it hit me: There have been two things recent in my life to which I have experienced God speaking directly yet I have been a little 'easy' on myself. I really don't want to go into too much detail since this is completely public, but I would say that I have been struggling with a specific thing that is 'sin to me' (perhaps not to you) and with allowing my thoughts to go somewhere from which God has asked me to keep them completely away. I rationalized the 'sin and the thoughts' for a bit... the sin was really not that big of a deal... and the wandering thoughts....well, perhaps, could they not be God taking my mind there?? Yes, God was TAKING my mind there. (That was me talking to myself btw). Nonetheless, in evaluation and reflection and prayer tonight, I realized that when the sin was not being acted upon and when the thought was not being yielded to, there was much more joy and confidence in God in my daily life, and...subsequently, there was probably much more ministry!
Oswald Chambers always said that if you feel distant from God, look no further than at your own reflection and figure out where you need to obey but have not been obeying. What a smart man. Lord Jesus, I seek to obey you, at all costs, regardless of what I do or do not understand. I believe in your goodness and your faithfulness. I will trust You and Your truth, not my own emotions or thought processes. Have this heart and life- they were never mine to begin with.
Oswald Chambers also said that for those of us called to be disciples of Christ, the one thing upon which we must keep a leash is our relationship to God. Keep that pure and free from stain- God controls all things, but asks us to take the responsibility of seeking His kingdom first.
So, in conclusion, I will say that Oswald Chambers was certainly a smart man. He made two blanket statements years ago that are completely applicable to my life right now. I will also say that, of course, we know that any wisdom he had came from the Father of Lights...for Oswald Chambers was just like me, just like you, a person, made from dust, and struggling through the 'do's and do not's' of Romans 7.
Praise the name of Jesus...He's my rock. He's my fortress. He's my deliver - in Him do I trust! Praise the name of Jesus...
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